泰坦尼克号 titanic 后现代搞笑版-英语话剧剧本 剧本原载于咖啡吧剧本网：http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/36647.html 旁白：It’s a cold evening. The Titanic has sunken. Rose, Jack and Oscar are on the life boat floating in the
ocean. This is Jack. This is Rose and this is Oscar, her husband-to-be.（边说边介 绍，三人坐在课桌上） Oscar: Oh, honey~ Are you OK? （边说边将手搭上 Rose 肩） Jack: She is my girl.（打开 Oscar 的手） Oscar: You are so cold.（脱下报纸披在 R 身上面向观众）what you wear, what you are. Jack: What are you doing! （扔掉校服，脱下自己的羽绒服抖了抖，面向观众）BoSideng（波 斯登）, warm and comfortable, it’s my choice.（将羽绒服披在 Rose 身上） Rose:（向 Jack）I love you.（向观众）But I love BoSideng more. Oscar: Hey! She is my wife-to-be, who are you? Jack: I am I. Wo de di pan wo zuo zhu（我的地盘我做主）. Oscar: People on the Earth all know, She, and I, will go to New York to have our wedding. Rose: But now…… Jack: Don’t say any more! Take your knife out! （从口袋里掏出铅笔，紧握手中） Oscar: Ok. Let’s go fighting! （同样掏出铅笔紧握手中） Jack & Oscar: Fighting! （用铅笔互戳）----小蜜蜂~ Rose: No, no, no! Please stop! （拉二人）( J & O 不小心将 Rose 推下桌子——落水） Rose: Help, help!（Jack & Oscar 将拉上 Rose 桌子） Oscar: Honey, how are you? Rose:（向观众）PiaoRou（飘柔）, just so confident~（甩头发） （Rose 不小心推 Oscar，Oscar 落水） Oscar: Help, help! Rose: Oh, no! （向 Oscar 伸手） （Jack 抓过 Rose 的手，对视） Jack:（唱）你是我的玫瑰，你是我的花?You are my life, you are my honey~ Rose: But……what about Oscar? Jack: Don?t pay attention to him. Rose: OK. Darling~ I love you, loving you, like mouse love rice~ 旁白：At this time, Oscar has been far away??Jack and Rose are still floating in the ocean. It’s colder and colder. Jack: Do you feel cold? Rose: Yes. You see we are so lonely. Jack: Don’ t worry. I have this! （从口袋里掏出打火机， 并向观众展示） This is a magic DaHuoji （打火机）.（Jack 按下打火机） （Superwoman 上，胸前贴一张纸，上书 S） Superwoman: （向观众） Do you know who am I? I am Superwoman! The famous Superman is my brother. I’m willing to help others. Rose: Would you please help us get away from here?（Superwoman 无视，面向 Jack） Superwoman: Oh, pretty boy~ Come here, I will save you. Jack: Take my girl together. Superwoman: No way!（Superwoman 下） （Jack 第二次按下打火机） （Indian Princess 上，向观众合掌问候） Princess: I am a princess from India. Rose: Would you please help us get away from here? Princess: OK. I have a magic blanket, maybe it can take you away. Come on.（从口袋里掏出围
巾） （Jack & Rose 尝试伸出脚，Princess 上下晃动围巾） Princess: Oh, no, it’s broken! My blanket! （边说边后退，渐远） （Indian Princess 下） （Jack 第三次还没按，Harry Potter 上，提着扫帚） Harry: Yi? Where am I? （向观众）My name is Harry Potter. I’m from Hogwarts（霍格沃茨）. I lose my way. Rose: Would you please help us get away from here? Harry: I really want to help you, but my ability is limited.（耸肩） Jack:（愤怒地）Oh, my god! Go away at once! （指向前方） （Harry Potter 下） 旁白：Suddenly, the life boat is shaking because Jack and Rose are too heavy. Jack: Rose, listen to me. I love you, but I will leave you.The boat can?t support us for a long time. You must live, so I will jump into the sea. Rose: No, no, no. Jump or not jump, this is a question. Jack: Then let the God decide it（二人低头虔诚祈祷状） Rose: God will bless us.（Jack 和 Rose 同时从身后伸出手来，包剪锤） Jack & Rose: One two three!（Jack 出锤子，Rose 出包子） Jack: I lose. You see, it’s God’s choice.（Rose 连连摇头） Rose: Oh, no. Jack, Jack, why your name is Jack! Jack: I wish you a happy life. Good-bye!（Jack 跳下桌子，Rose 伸手拉，未果） Rose: You jump, I jump.（Rose 跳下桌子，O 未死， 继续叫救命??） （旁白唱 my heart will go on， 音乐起， 全剧终。 Jack & Rose 跳舞， 张开手臂经典动作作结。 ） . 剧本原载于咖啡吧剧本网：http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/36647.html 荆轲刺秦王英语搞笑剧本 剧本原载于咖啡吧剧本网：http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/36265.html The man wants to kill the king 旁白：It was war periods time, the war among different countries seemed endless. Every kings or ministers tried to find some supermen to work for them——to be the killing tools for their political purposes. As time goes by, it was becoming a fashion to feed some good men at home…… This is a crazy world. In the crazy world, there are the crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by the crazy way. 第一幕：Conspire(密谋) 太子丹（上，叹气） ：Ying Zheng,that bad guy,treats me even worse than before.Resorts to lots of persons in his hand,he never cares about me ---the most sensible prince under the sun.Recently,he has got much more cities from my hands.How can I live if these things happen again(急)。 Hey!! I must think out a good idea. I must make him know who I am.(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? (大臣阿三上)Indeed, tell me what shall we do now? 阿三： （毕恭毕敬） Just keep calm,please!Let me see! （盘坐在地。 两手在头上画画如一休） （旁 外音：当当当，砰！ ！ ） （阿三起）Ok,I get one,we can sent a hero to put Ying Zheng to~~~（作 杀状）Then, all the beauties,jewelries and cities in Qing is ours~~~ （淫笑）太子与阿三作流口 水状. 太子：Ha, ha~~~. Good idea,Good idea!But do you think who we can sent? 阿三：I have thought about it, we can send Xi Men Chui Xue .He is traveling in our country these days. I think we can’t lose the chance. We must employ him quickly.
太子：Well, deal with the things as soon as possible. 第二幕：tournament (比武) 西门吹雪（上台，摆出一幅酷式，手一张，一条纸带随风而下） 西 门 吹 雪 （Xi Men Chui Xue） 身高：190cm Height: 190cm 最爱干的事情：聊 qq Favorite doing: chatting 战斗力：无限 War power: endless 最爱的颜色：黑色 Favorite color: black 武器：长剑 Weaponry: long sword 最爱喝的饮料：啤酒 Favorite drinks: beer 血型：O Type of blood: O 最崇拜的人：小燕子，****** Favorite idol: Xiao Yanzi Mao Zedong Today I came here for the fighting, who is the unwanted-life guy. Stand out. 荆轲（抖嗦而上）站在一边，不敢出大气。 旁白：Competition begins. 荆轲（带剑冲向西门吹雪，半途停住）Are you really Xi Men Chui Xue? 西门吹雪：Just come on. 荆轲： （又冲， 停在西门吹雪面前） Are you sure you are really the Xi Men Chui Xue in the story? 西门吹雪： （不耐烦）what a boring man! How dare you ask me such a stupid question? 荆轲（环视四周见无一人，便跪在西门吹雪面前，大哭）My hero, I admire you just like the yellow river, never endless. I have eighty-year-old mother up, three-year-old boy down. Please don’t kill me. Give me the life, please! 西门吹雪 （大怒） I thought Jingke is a hero. But you beg for life. How can I forgive you? Give me your life. (举剑刺向荆轲，忽然，捂住自己的肚子，自语) Maybe I ate too much this morning, Maybe there is something wrong with the rice. (抬头) where is the toilet? 荆轲：T-o-i-l-e-t-? 西门吹雪：WC. 荆轲：W-C-? 西门吹雪： （急）茅厕！ ！Are you happy to hear such rude words? 荆轲：I know, I know. Turn left, left and left. 西门吹雪下。 太子丹与阿三上，看见荆轲，大吃一惊，太子丹给阿三一个眼色，阿三会意。走至荆轲前。 阿三: What’s your name, please? Hero. 荆轲不屑一顾。 太子丹（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： 宁 在 花 下 死， 作 鬼 也 风 流。 Even dying under the flower, Also happy as a ghost. ——快活魔王荆轲是也
Happy prince of the gost 太子丹（抱拳） ：How do you do 荆柯：How do you do. 荆柯突欲走，太子丹给阿三一个眼色。 阿三：Hero, wait for a moment. I have a problem which needs your help。 太子丹：You can gain a lot of things. 荆柯欲走又止。 太子丹(从衣兜里掏出一张卡片): Here is a card for traveling all over the world for free, please accept it please, hero. 荆柯正准备拿，但马上又止，转身又欲走 太子丹（慌了） ：I must use the last way. Ladies and gentlemen. This is Miss Huang! 旁白： “大世界”响起 有一妖艳女子走上（男扮女装） ，走到荆柯面前，给荆柯抛了一个眉眼。荆柯两眼发直。 太子丹与阿三（击掌）Yeah! 荆柯 （站直， 厉声道） ： Great man, both born and die for his motherland. I am not the guy who just wants money and beauty. What shall I do? Prince, just say it out. But this lady?? 太子丹：No problem. 第三幕：Say goodbye in Yishui River(易水别) 荆珂挽着那女子，太子丹在后，阿三一手拿着地图，一手拿着人头上。 阿三：We have already reached Yishui River. 荆珂：Please just stop here. Goodbye. 太子丹：Hero, Let me see you off a little further 荆珂：What a boring guy. If you walk a little further, then you will go to Qin instead of me 太子丹：Well. Goodbye. Hero. Here is the map and the head of Fan Yuqi, so as to get trust of the king 荆珂（接过头，扔在一边。太子丹，阿三下，荆珂猛抱住妻子） ：How can I express my feeling now? I don’t want to leave because I love you. Once I think I will kill Yingzheng . I can’t help rushing into W.C. you known. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go. 妻子：Don’t worry. Do you still love me? 荆珂：Sure. I love you just like the mouse likes the rice. I love you more than my own life, more than my wife, more than the whole world. You are the one I first kissed, and I hope you will be the last one. 妻子： Well. If you are still loving me. You should not make me sad Stand up like a man. Don’ t be fearful. I will be right here waiting for you. 荆珂：You must wait for me. 妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪， 旁白： ”I will be right here waiting for you” 响起 荆珂上船，渐渐远去， （歌落） 妻子：Hey！ You want to come back, use your pig head, if you come back, the assurance that I bought about you will no use. Go to your doom. Never come back. 第四幕：murdering (刺秦). 一大臣跑在前，一大臣紧随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气。 大臣甲（掏出手机一看） ：Hey, bad luck. I am late. The bonus of this month has been lost. 大臣乙：I am tired. I had been chatting on QQ until 1 o’ clock last night.
大臣乙（看了一下大臣甲） ：Good. Good. Your skin is fine. 大臣甲：I use “ Da Bao” everyday. 大臣乙：I have heart the emperor of Yan again give our king some good things. Be quick, to have a look. 大臣甲：Come on 秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一边。 卫兵丙： “Can we begin？” 秦王“begin” 卫兵丙： “Let the people of Yan， Jingke come in” 荆柯上。跪下，吓得直发抖。 秦王： “Jingke. What’s wrong with you？” 荆柯： “Nothing. Nothing. May be there are lots of fleas on my body “. 秦王（不烦） ：What’s the good things， quickly！ ” 荆柯献图，图穷匕首见，荆柯举刀刺秦， （旁白：Go Go Go Only Only 响起）秦王摔倒，转 身逃跑，其他人抱头趴在地上。 两个人围着大臣兜圈，过了一会儿?? 大臣甲喊道： “Mr King, drink the milk quickly!”扔了一奶壶，秦王接住，咂了一下，顿时， 力大无比，立刻将荆柯打倒在地。 秦王:Super rubbish, how dare you kill me? 荆柯:I'm sorry I'm wrong But the prince of Yan told me to。 Please forgive me! 秦王：You will never live again. What would you like to say? 荆柯：My lovely lady， Once there was a truest love put before my eyes ,but I didn't cherish it. Only after losing it .I found myself regretting. No pains in the world comes near this, if God Could give me another chance, I would say to the girl “I love you! “If there had to be a limit of time before the end of love. I hope it would be ten thousand years. 秦王（吼道） ：Soldiers carry out and put the pig head on the wall!! 第五幕：Escape（逃跑） 二个卫兵拖着荆柯上， （手脚以被绑）将荆柯扔到一边。二人气喘吁吁，甲搜身。 卫兵甲：Bad luck. He has no money. 卫兵乙：Money?? You are joking! I have searched all his body, just two socks. 卫兵甲:What?? Two socks? 卫兵乙:Nothing. Nothing. (回头)Too dangerous. 卫兵甲:Put the socks out. 卫兵乙 L 极不情愿，拿出了一双大小不一的袜子 卫兵甲看了看，比了比。将长的装进了自己兜里，短的扔给了卫兵乙。 卫兵乙：Too brazen. (两人互看)Oh,no.It’s fair. 荆柯（抬起头） ：I will give you much more money if you set me free. 二卫兵：Really? Where is the money? 荆柯指了指脚上的绳子。二卫兵会意，解开了绳子。 荆柯（站起来） ：My brothers, I have a good idea. If you do it,you will get lots of money. 二卫兵：Oh,please tell it to us! 荆柯:You can tie another person instead of me to put to death. Only the king recognizes me but he won’t watch my death. So no one will find out the secret. 二卫兵：Good idea!!(竖指)
荆柯去一边的树林里，拿出两袋钱，扔给二卫兵便大步而去。二卫兵正指着钱，忽卫兵丙推 自行车上。 二卫兵（双目相视，大笑，同声） ：Good!! 两人一把抓住骑车人，只往下拉，车子扔在地上。 卫兵丙：What have I done? I haven’t done anything wrong. Oh,no no!!! Have I crime? 二卫兵（异口同声） ：Maybe.大笑.(Yesterday once more 起) ------------落幕-----------剧本原载于咖啡吧剧本网：http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/36265.html To love each other as a family Editor Yuyixiao Thefirst act of the play: (in the woods) Narrator： Lucy was walking in the woods alone and sadly, becauseher boyfriend hasn’ t called her for a long time. Lucy (she is calling with her boyfriend): Why did you not call me so long time? Do you know I?m very worried about you?! Andren (Lucy?s boyfriend) said slowly: I?m sorry. I don?t love you anymore. Let?s break up. OK? Lucywas very surprised, and shouted: “Why? Why?”(Her BF hung up. DUBBING: Du, du,du. Telephone ring) Thesecond act of the play: (in the dormitory) Lucy was very sad. She said nothing, leaving the silly wind rollingaround her. At last, she wanted to hung herself up. She walked along the roadwith a blue spirit. She felt the whole world abandoned her. In the dormitory, Lucy?s roommates were discussing. Tomorrowis Lucy?s birthday. Crystal said excitedly: Oh, dear. Tomorrow is Lucy?sbirthday. What should we do? Lily said: Yeah. I think we can give her a giant surprise. Mary went on to say: OK, you are right. “Dong,dong, dong.” Lucy came back. “So fuck! What are you doing?! Be quiet, immediately!” Lucy spoke so loudlyand rudely and angrily not behaving herself. Her roommates were very thrilled with surprise(they had never come across such situation for Lucy?s mild character). Theyresponded together: “What?s the matter? Are you crazy! ” Lucy shouted with tears: “I?ve had enough of all of you and the world. Youare all fool! You know nothing!” Then she shut the door heavily, running awayalone. Narrator：Though hurt a lot by the impolite and really nonsensewords, Crystalfollowed her secretly all same time for fearing there would be something wrong with her friend. ( Lily and Mary were both angry and curious. ) Lily said:“What?swrong with Lucy?” Mary continued: “It seemed that we didn?t saysomething wrong.” Lily said: “Oh, dear, don?t be sad. I love you.” Mary said: “I love you, too.”(Mary grabbed and kissedLily. Narrator：Lucy ranto the woods，and sat on chair. Lucy was walking along the road, crying: “Why do theyall dislike me? Why did he break up with me?” （amused） Narrator： All ofwhat she said were heard by Crystal. At the moment, she knew, Lucy broke upwith
her boyfriend. Crystalcame back and told roommates what happed. Crystal: “Lucy broke up with her boyfriend, so weshould get it now why she was so abnormal. Actually she was unwilling to hurtus.” Mary and lily said: “Oh, my god.” “I think we should do something for Lucy. We arefamily.” Mary said. “I agree. Maybe we can give her a special birthday.” Lilysaid. The third act of the play: (the next day, indormitory) Narrator: Today is sunny. And it?s alsoLucy?s birthday. Their roommates decided to give her a surprise. So in themorning, they all pretended that they didn?t know her birthday and saidnothing. Lily said at first: “hi, dear, Mary and Crystal, let?shave breakfast.” They smiled to her strangely. Marysaid: “Oh, great, I want to eat two goubuli stuffed bun.” Crystal said: “let?s go.” Narrator: “Lucy saidnothing, and also, left the dormitory alone. When Lucy left, they came backsecretly.” “Hi,Crystal, comeon, put the birthday cake here.” Mary said.（slide show） “Allright. Where is the teddy bear?” Crystal said. Marycame on with a Teddy bear: “here, here, here.” Then, Lily said: “Ready? I?ll call her back.” Marysaid excitedly: “Ok, everything is ok.” “Lucy,where are you? Come back. We wait you in dormitory.” Lily said. Lucy came back with aconfusion heart. When Lucy opened the door, her roommates said: “Happy birthdayto you. This is your birthday bear.”(Music sounded) Lucy was excitedlyspeechlessly, and murmured :“Thank you. Thank you. I?m, I?m, I?m…sorry….” Lily said: “oh, it doesn?tmatter. We are families. They started singing the birthday song…… Theforth act of the play: Narrator: We are family, and we should love each otheras a family. We share the happiness and the sadness together. 剧本原载于咖啡吧剧本网：http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/37103.html The story about New Year?sEve 除夕的传说， 讲述了有一个怪物叫 “年"， 每到腊月的最后一天会出来害人... 旁白： According to legend, the Chinese in ancient times there was a called "Year" monster. "Year" for many years stayed indoors and the sea, every New Year's Eve only to climb cliffs, and eat people. Therefore, every New Year's Eve this day, people young and old stockaded (st'keid]) village fled to the mountains to escape the "Year" animal damage. Characters Monster(year) who likes to eat people, especially on ChineseNew Year’s Eve 京京 Old lady A whose husband and children were eaten by the monster 清照 Old lady B whocomes to help old lady A to fight with the monster 静宜 Neighbors C 丽霞 Neighbors D 戴朋
Narrator [n'reit, n-] n.叙述者；解说员 徐婵 Scene I SETTING: C、D、and old lady A are in the village. ATRISE: C、D、 are talking to one another. C: Tomorrow is Chinese New Year?s Eve. D: Oh, my god！It’s Chinese New Year’sEve again. C: We must run away today or we will be eaten by theterrible monster. D: Yes, I remember it comes to the village every year. Andeat all the people. C: That ’sterrible！Old lady A ’ s husband and children were eaten by the monster last year. D: Oh, that poor lady who lost her family. She must bevery sad. C: We must tell her to run away with us. D: Yes, don’t let the tragedy（悲剧）happen again. (C、D Run to the old lady A’s home) Old lady, Old lady, you must run away with usnow. C: Yes, take your baggage and go with us. D: Hurry up, we have no time to waste. A: No, I want to stay here. D: Why？ A: I want to fight with the monster！It killed my family. I need to（ take revenge on） （对。 。 。实 施报复） it. C: No, No, No,it?s not safe. You won’t win by yourself！ D: And you will be eaten, too. C: You must go with us！ ！ A: I?m too old, and I don?t want to keepliving without my family. I must kill it before I die. D: You are a crazy woman. Just suit yourself. (C, D run away) Scene II SETTING: old lady B is at Old lady A?s home ATRISE: Old lady A is cooking dumplings.Old lady B is knocking at the door. B: Anyone home？ A: (Opens the door) What are you doing here？You must run away with the otherneighbors or you will be eaten by the monster. B: I?mtoo hungry to run. Canyou please give me something to eat？ A: All right, all right. Coming. B: (Eating dumplings) Whydon’t you run away like everyone else？ A: I want to kill the monster because it ate myhusband and children. B: But it is too difficult. A: Idon?t care. B: Do you haveany method (方法)to deal with it？ A: Um,I don?t know. B: In order to thank you forgiving me this food, I can teach you how to kill the monster. A: Really？How？
B: Well, I know the monster is afraid of the color redand loud noise. So we can stick some red papers on the door and make loud noiseto frighten it away. A: So what are we waiting for？Let’s do it now. B: You are right！It’sgetting darker and darker outside. Scene III SETTNG:Outside Old lady A?s home. ATRISE: The monster shows up in front of A?s home. Monster: Ha！Ha！Ha！After one year of sleeping, I’m very hungry now. It’s time for me to eat a lot of people. Ha！ Ha！ Ha！ It’ s too bad that everybody runsaway. Oh, there is a light in that house, there must be people in it. (Knockingon the door.) Anybody home？ I won?t hurt you, just open the door. (When it sees the red paper on thedoor.) Oh, my god, it?s the color red, I?m afraid of it. Stay away from me. B: (ABOpens the door, and they are wearing redclothes) You bad monster. Now it’s your turn to feel afraid. (They beat drumsand strike gongs. 他们敲锣打鼓 Monster: Oh, my god~ I can?t take it anymore. Please forgive me. A: You ate all my family. How can I forgive you？ Monster: I?m sorry. I will do anything yousay if you only let me go. B: I think themonster feels very sorry now. Monster: Yes, Yes, I ?m so sorry. A: Well, if you go away and never comeback, I will forgive you. B: Yes, andnever eat people anymore. Monster: Ok, I promise you I will nevereat people and never come here again. (They stop beating drums and strikinggongs. The monster runs away and never comes back anymore.) Scene IV SETTING:In the village. ATRISE: A、B、C、Dare talking. C: How did youdo it？ A: Btold me the monster is afraid of the color red and loud noises. D: Wow！Howdo you know this？(To B) B: Actually,I’m a fairy（仙女）. I’m here to help you fightthe monster. C: Oh, thankyou. You really did us a big favor. B: You're welcome. Now youdon?t have to be afraid of this monster anymore. (Everyone is happy and clapping their hands.每个人都很开心,为他们鼓掌。) 旁白：From then on New Year's Eve every year, every household paste [peist] redcouplets, firecrackers; every household brightly lit candle, put on probationis more to be old. Who started this morning, the pro-string friends Daoxi to gosay hello. This customs have spread and became the most solemn ['slm] of traditional Chinese folk festival "NewYear." 从此每年除夕，家家贴红对联、燃放爆竹；户户烛火通明、守更待岁。初一一大早，还要走 亲串友道喜问好。这风俗越传越广，成了中国民间最隆重的传统节日“过年” 。 END 编剧：林京京 话剧成员：陈清照 徐婵 赵静宜 杨丽霞 戴朋 林京京 剧本原载于咖啡吧剧本网：http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/36646.html
英语小品-作弊 剧本原载于咖啡吧剧本网：http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/33865.html 彭宸光 SmallWhite（小白） 丁澄洋 Told 严安然 N Ninkle 高烁 SecondBrother Sally Liu（作弊者甲） 沈智达 LXY Sarry Li（作弊者乙） 胡皓 A 孙祺 B 王睿宇 C 张乐然 D 纪晓凡 旁白 黄鑫 电教 杨欣雨 后勤 群众演员若干 Scene1 (座位 4*4，同学就位，Told 抱着一摞卷子走上讲台) Told: Today we?re going to have an exam. C: Told told us he was giving an exam. (Told 走到讲台前，把卷子摔在桌子上，飞速点卷子发卷子。考试开始了。所有人低头做卷 子。 SecB 和 LXY 开始玩波波攒。SW 抬头看一眼。Told 低头判作业不理会。 SecB 开始和 LXY 打手势。 Told 依旧判作业。 SW 抬头注视几秒， 指着 SecB 和 LXY 小声喊) SW: 李笑雨！ ！ (周围人开始起哄一起小声喊) Everybody: 李笑雨！ ！ (Told 继续判卷子。 其他人继续做卷子，SW 做不下去卷子，盯着 SecB 和 LXY，又看看 Told，很愤怒的样子。) SW: Teacher, please! Told: What? SW: Look what they did! Told: What did you do? (看着 SecB) (SecB 摇头) Told: Nothing? Nothing. (Told 出门习惯动作，可请教杨铁梓>) Told: OK, time?s up. Hand in. (最后一排开始收卷。收完卷后，SW 生气地站起来，指 SecB 和 LXY，然后没说话跨出门) Scene2 (SW 回到家里) SW: Shit! How could this happen? (把书包扔到地上) (SW 趴到床上) 旁白: This is CurtJiang, or SmallWhite, a Junior 3 student. Someone says he is obstinate, can’t take the changes around him. Sure he is. He’d just moved to another class for some reason. And
the things happened there really made him disappointed. He is now lying in his bed, thinking over the case he saw in that English test. He is confused, and with this confusion, he fall asleep… (灯光灭，片刻亮起，SecB 和 LXY 慢步各从两侧走上台。SW 睁开眼睛眨了眨，转头看到二 人迅速从床上跳起) SW: Who! Who are you?! SecB: What, don?t you know us? SW(慢慢向后退): Why are you here?! LXY: Because we are here. SW(停顿一下，然后向前走，绕过床): You cheated, didn’t you? You should be punished, shouldn’t you? SecB: You?re only right in one thing. We cheated. LXY: But we will never be punished. SW: Yes, you will. You did something bad, and you shall be guilty. LXY: No, we?re not. We have already done this for several times, in all kinds of tests. SecB: You new guy from here have no right to criticize. (LXY 和 SecB 慢慢靠拢向台左侧，Told 从右侧上台) Told: You - human beings, always make mistakes, always feel guilty, but always leave things happen. You always do nothing to deal with facts, because you can only do nothing. SW: But why didn?t you stop them? You?re a teacher! Told: Different people have different opinion. In my opinion, you are a poor boy, because you?re out of hope. Told, SecB, LXY(齐，逐次声音变强，向前走逼近，SW 向后退): You are a poor boy, without hope – you are a poor boy without hope – you are a poor boy, without hope. SW: No!(SW 向后倒在床上，灯光灭，音乐起，SW 回到床上躺好。前奏完歌词开始 5 句后灯光亮， 歌曲到一半时音量渐低最后音乐灭。 SW 摇摇头揉眼睛起床，站起来) SW: A dream? Just a dream? (下台) Scene3 (投影内容 SW 与 Told 争论的画面，音乐起) 旁白: Small White starts to work. He has found all his hope back, filled his heart with it. In his mind, the braveness conquered his fear. He talked with Told, but he said? (大屏幕) 旁白: So he turned to some others. (N 上台，坐在办公桌前办公。SW 入，一边走一边说) SW: Ms Ninkle, would you mind if I take you a moment? N: Sure. What?s up? SW: Look, I really need to talk to you though you don?t teach me anymore. N: Don?t say that, I?m still your teacher and here to help you. SW: Alright, thanks. (声音快放，SW 和 N 比划动作) 旁白: Small White told all his experience to his pro-teacher Ms Ninkle. She’s really sympathetic
to Small White and in agreement with him, that they should be punished. (回到正常) N: I feel so proud of you and your justices. But you have to know that you can?t lose yourself. You should face it, and keep your studies as well. SW: But we don?t see it, just let it be, what if they become more crazy, do more bad, break the justice…while that is unfair. N: Don?t worry about that. It is our teachers? duty. I?ll deal with it. SW: Well, I hope you?re different from him. N: Who? SW: Well, (比划口型 Told) (两人笑) N: You shall have the chance to fight with your enemies. SW: Thank you, for helping. N: No problem. (灯灭) Scene4 (灯亮，法庭场景。被告左原告右，法官为 N。被告为 LXY，SecB，律师为 Told，原告为 SW) N: Now we start with the case about the cheating of Sally Liu and Sarry Li. Prosecutor first. SW: On Mar. 14th 2008, Sally Band and Sarry Li cheated in an English class. Their behavior were seen by all except our teacher. Though it was not a formal exam, these behavior had broken the rule of the school seriously. I suggest judge to give them a punishment, not too severe but can bring the fair to all of the students. N: Confirmed. Now Student Liu and Li, do you have any disagreements? SecB: I don?t agree with him. Because he has no evidence to prove what he said. Our teacher is with us, he didn?t see anything. How could you say that you saw the scene? LXY: Besides, you are only one person. Nobody else can prove your saying, am I right? SW(停顿片刻，音乐): You’re probably right. Maybe nobody else saw it, and maybe nobody else will stand with me to help me. But I’ll still stand here, gaze your eyes, because I know what I’ve seen. And I know the fear and guilty in your heart. I can’t deny what I believe, which is the truth. By my conscience, I must do something. What is right what is wrong, you know exactly, and me as well. I?ll not give up my decision and hope, because it?s our duty to keep the justice. So, I am here, waiting for the judge, though there?s nobody around me, though I might lose. (SecB，LXY 神态紧张) SecB: Don?t be stupid. You?re just a student, without evidence. LXY: Say your prayers, you will lose. Told(感慨地): You poor boys, our girls will? (庭下几名学生站起) A: We can prove what he said.本文转自 http://www.coffbar.com B: We?re the evidence. D: We?re with you White. (N 敲小锤子) N: Quiet. Sit down please. (朝 SecB，LXY)Anything else to say? OK. There?s nothing else to discuss. Court has already had the result.
According to the school rule, Sally Liu and Sarry Li have behaved against No.25 in Part5, while these were proved to be truth. Now the Court will give punishments below: Student Liu and Li are supposed to help clean the school for 1 month. If someone has disagreement, hand in more material in 1 week. (敲锤，众人鼓掌欢呼)So be it. (谢幕，大屏幕打出 SW 的照片向 Small White 致敬，The story is based on reality>) 剧本原载于咖啡吧剧本网：http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/33865.html
小短剧 A(衣衫褴褛） B（衣着光鲜） C 小花 D 小草 E 椅子 F 新闻记者 B 坐在 E 上吃东西，A 一乞丐上前 A：先生，先生，请给我些面包，谢谢，我饿得不行了。 B： （厌恶）让开，让开。 （然后便起身离开，这时他的钱包掉到 E 上头了） A：先生，先生（A 看见后，立即拾起，追上了走远的 B） B：让开，让开啊，我没吃的了，也没钱了（看也不看 A，仍自顾自地走了） C：他真愚蠢啊 D：是啊是啊（D 点头附和） A：可??先生??您听我说??（仍拉着 B 衣服的后摆） B：挖，你这人怎么这么讨厌！ （还是没有回头看 A 一眼） C：椅子啊，你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢？ E：唉，人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~ D：是啊是啊 与此同时 A 与 B 还在纠缠，这时 E 终于隐忍不住爆发了。 E：先生！你的钱包丢了！你怎么这么傻啊。 A 与 B 同时回头，看见了那会说话的椅子 E，吓昏过去了。这一幕恰巧被经过的 F 看见了。 于是 F 就报道了这一事件。 F：大家好，我是新闻记者 F，今天我看见了一个奇异的现象，一个椅子说话了，两个人被 吓昏了，下面我将采访一下被吓昏的两个人。 B：哦，上帝，哦，妈妈。 F：这个人傻了，我们不鸟他了，下面我采访一下另一个人吧，请问你为什么不告诉他，他 的钱包丢了？ A：对不起，我不知道“钱包”这个单词怎么讲?? F：通过这一事件，我们可以认识到，掌握一门外语的重要性，以及金钱给人类带来的影响。 是吗，椅子？ E：是啊，是啊（E 傻傻地拼命点头） C：唉，人可真愚蠢，椅子也被他们弄傻了。 D：谁让这是一个童话呢?? 为了配合马可的英文翻译，所以台词能简单就简单啦。下面是马可的英文翻译。 A:sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I'm hungry to die. B:get away,get away,dirty man. A:sir,sir!! B:run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don't have money,either.
C:hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn't he? D:yes,yes. A:but....sir....please listen to me..... B:wa,why are you so disgusting!! C:hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid. E:ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly. D:yes,yes!! E:sir!you lost your wallet!can't you be more clever? F:good morning,everybody.I'm a jonrnist F. Today I saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faint.now,I will intenview the two nozzy man. B:wo,my god,wo,my,mum. F:I'm sorry to tell you this man has been mad.we needn't take notice of him.let me interview the other man,hello,man,can you tell men why didn't you tell him he lost his wallet? A:I'm sorry,I don't know how to speak "钱包" in english...... F:dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect us.is that all right,chair? E:yes,yes. C:ai,men is so silly. D:don't believe us,it is just a fairly tale.
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