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作文讲解1


一篇高分书面表达必须具有以下特点: 1.内容要点齐全,清楚地表达了自己的观点并进行了充分合理的论证; 2.准确性高,描述恰当,时态、人称符合文章要求,语法、句法准确无误,结构严谨,标点、 格式、大小写亦能正确应用; 3.连贯性好,衔接语使用恰当,全文结构紧凑; 4.使用了一些较为复杂的词汇,句式,能体现出较强的语言运用能力; 开头、结尾富有特色不落俗套,给人耳目一新的感觉。 假设你是星光中学的李华,写一篇倡导骑自行车的文章,主要内容包括: 1.目前汽车带来的空气污染和交通堵塞等问题; 2.骑自行车的益处,如节能环保、有利健康等。 参考词汇:低碳生活(low-carbon life) ;节能(energy-saving) 注意:1.词数:120 词左右; 2.开头和结尾已给出。 Sample 1 At present, as society develops, people’s life more and more good. So many people don’t ride bicycles. They are used to taking a bus. It makes air pollution. More and more people take buses. Not only make it air pollution, but also usually make traffic jam. It is very important that do harm to us healthy. So we should stop taking buses very much. Because this is can be harmful to us. So we should advocate a low-carbon life, energy-saving, environmentally friendly, ______ 减少 air pollution. This is of benefit to us. Let us hand in hand, make good life environment together. Come on! At present, life is more and more well. The car is entering into many families, but the air pollution is very serious, and the traffic is very jam. Bicycling is very popular. We should advocate a low-carbon life. Environmentally friendly has become fashionable. And people all over the world are interested in natural and energy-saving. I usually go to school by bike. I feel free because I can go wherever I want to go. It is convenient. Even when the traffic jam occurs, I can go through the narrow space. Bying bike is also can help our health. We can by it in our free time. 常见的错误类型: 1. 谓语缺失 people’s life more and more good. ——people’s life is getting better and better. 2. 用词不当 It makes air pollution. ——It causes air pollution. 3. 句式用错 Not only make it air pollution, but also usually make traffic jam. ———It not only causes air pollution, but also usually results in traffic jams. ————Not only does it cause air pollution, but also usually results in traffic jams. 4. 从句用错 It is very important that do harm to us healthy. ———It is very obvious that air pollution does harm to us health. 5. 谓语混乱(串句)

Because this is can be harmful to us. ———Because this can be harmful to us. ———Because this is harmful to us. 6. 词性混淆 So we should advocate a low-carbon life, energy-saving, environmentally friendly, ______ 减少 air pollution. ———So we should advocate a low-carbon, energy-saving, environmentally friendly life and reduce air pollution. Environmentally friendly has become fashionable. ———— Being Environmentally friendly has become fashionable. ———— Environmental protection has become fashionable. ……are interested in natural and energy-saving. ————……are interested in natural and energy-saving life. Bying bike is also can help our health. ——Riding bikes is also can help our health. We can by it in our free time. ——We can ride bikes in our free time. 7. 汉语思维 Let us hand in hand, make good life environment together. ——Let us make a good life environment hand in hand together. 范文: As is known to all, with the improvement of people’s living standards, cars have become a popular means of transport, bringing great convenience to our life. However, they have also caused some problems such as air pollution and traffic jams. How can we solve the problems then? As far as I’m concerned, riding bicycles is a good solution. For one thing, bicycles don’t need any petrol and they are energy – saving. For another, bicycles are environmentally friendly because they won’t give off waste gas. What’s more, riding bicycles is a good way for us to exercise and it is beneficial to our health. Therefore, let’s take the responsibility to build up a low carbon city by riding bicycles. Come on and join us!

参考例文: As is known to all, with the improvement of people’s living standards, cars have become a popular means of transport, bringing great convenience to our life. However, they have also caused some problems such as air pollution and traffic jams. How can we solve the problems then? As far as I’m concerned, riding bicycles is a good solution. For one thing, bicycles don’t need any petrol and they are energy-saving. For another, bicycles are environmentally friendly because they won’t give off waste gas. What’s more, riding bicycles is a good way for us to exercise and it is beneficial to our health. Therefore, let’s take the responsibility to build up a low carbon city by riding bicycles.


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