[开始。树)上台安静地屹立到
舞台较后方。导演(范冰)走到台前]
导演:Action![跑下台] [农夫冷酷地上。] 农夫:I’m a farmer.(稍停顿)[走两步]A modern farmer.(掏出墨镜戴上)[冷酷地走两步, 突然被绊了一跤, 回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头, 继续保持冷酷]When I was yong,I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看,收起]!So I’m rich now![开始展 示名牌,边说边掏 ]Look ! This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250 ! This is my Swatch!This my MP3!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS!This is… [ 不 经 意 地 掏 出 一 个 苹 果]Oh,sorry. And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do U know what’s this?痒痒挠?No no no~~It’s my modern——锄头~! ![看下表]It’s time to do some farming![开始弯下腰做出锄地 的动作,锄了两下,突然] Oh yes!I think farming should be combined with music![掏出 MP3 戴 上,开始很有激情地边锄地边唱]Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming should be combined with music~!Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下 台,把没用的道具拿走,把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台] 树:I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作,边做边唱:哼哼哈 西! ! ! ]I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall!And I’m Strong!IF you hit me,you will 挂掉! Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子 A)。树站回后台] [兔子 A 上] 兔子 A(一开始不知道状况。以为自己扮演周杰伦,所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼) :Hey everybody,I’m Jay!I love U!I love Nantong![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U! The name of the song is 《发如雪》 ! [清清嗓子正要唱, 这时候导演 (范 冰)上] 导 演 : [ 拿 手 中 纸 筒 狠 狠 打 了 下 兔 子 A 的 头 ]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit,understand?![兔子 A:Sorry sorry sorry] [导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》 。导演下台 之前,看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看,惊喜地]Oh!It’s mine! (很兴奋地拿着下场) 兔子 A:OK,now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在场上转圈,悠闲散步] [农夫继续锄地,边锄边上场,突然看见前面有个兔子] 农夫: (惊喜地)Lunch![扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it! [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走] [农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子 回头。 农夫假装看天气。 两人继续走。 兔子回头。 农夫假装打手机。 两人继续走, 兔子回头。 这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。] 兔子 A:Wahhhh~!(吓一跳)What’s this! 农夫:Hnnnn…!I will kill U for lunch! 兔子 A:But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来(农夫一开始把枪对着自己)] 农夫:Thank you! 兔子 A:My pleasure. (突然想起来农夫要杀自己) Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑,躲到树后面,农 夫追到树前] 农夫:Where~ to go? Haha! [农夫开了一枪“砰”。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪,没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪, 同上。 农夫开始加快频率,火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪,躲着躲着跳起舞来。 树继续痛苦中弹状。]
兔子 A[自我陶醉中,边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me! 树:[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后] [兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪,走到兔子面前,看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现] 农夫: Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子, 开枪, 没声音, 看看枪, 示意没子弹了。 兔子见状, 非常兴奋地大笑起来] 兔子 A:Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now! [兴奋大笑,笑到抽筋,笑到后仰。突然头撞倒 了后面的树] Wa ![兔子晕两下~~ “我倒!” 倒地] 农夫:OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [想一下] But I’m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子绑到树上。倒 地睡到树旁边] 兔子 A:[兔子很快醒了,看看四周,发现自己被绑了,很惊讶]Where am I? What happened? 树:[指着农夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you. 兔子 A:What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape?[东张西望,看到农夫的手机] [ 兔 子 不 知 不 觉 地 把 树 杈移 开 , 走 到 手 机 前 看 了看 ] 咦 ? What’s this ? [ 捡 起 来 看 ]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原处。 又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来]A mobile! Maybe I can call some one to help me! [又不知不觉地把自己放出来,那起手机] But how to use it??? 树:[走上前]Let me tell U.Look,press this button![给兔子] 兔子 A:Oh I see. [做出打电话的样子] 喂? 李咏:[上台,激情澎湃地] Hello!This is lucky fifty-two![做出幸运 52 的手势]I’m Liyong! Now let’s start our first question!What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正? A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please! 兔子 A: (很冷漠地)Sorry, wrong number.[挂掉] 李咏:Answer me!Answer me! En..?喂?喂喂?[很郁闷地下台] 兔子 A:Now let me call again.[拨打] 喂? 兔子 B:喂? 兔子 A:Hey Jackey! 兔子 B:Hey tommy! 兔子 A:How are you doing? 兔子 B:Fine,thank you.And U? 兔子 A:I’m fine too!How are your parents doing? 兔子 B:They are fine,thank you.And U? 兔子 A:They are fine,too!How is your uncle doing? 兔子 B:He’s fine,thank you!And U? 兔子 A:He’s fine , too! 兔子 B:But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!! 兔子 A:No no no!I’m in danger now!Come and help me!!! 兔子 B:But where are you? 兔子 A:I’m under a tree! 兔子 B:[边打电话边在附近走,经过兔子 A 面前,两个人还没发现]What can you see around you? 兔子 A:I see a rabbit ,rather like you! 兔子 B:A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come!Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开]
[兔子 A 打完电话,小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处,还很有礼貌地说了句“Thank you.” 然后 又很自觉地把自己绑回了树上] 兔子 A:Hahaha!My friend will come and save me,yeah! [兴奋过度,后仰,头又撞倒树上,昏 眩中…“我晕!” 又晕了] [兔子 B 上。 ]兔子 B: I’m also rabbit! I’m clever! I’m brave ! And I’m strong! [展示肌肉] OH! My friend is here!Let me help him out! [费力地想把树枝(双臂)挪开,使了几次劲,还是不 行] It’s too tight! I must think of a good way! [看到农夫扔掉的痒痒挠] Let’s see,what’s this!A 锄头![装作打高尔夫球,试了试锄头手感]Oh,it’s nice.[走到树面前,正要砍] 树:Stop! ! !What will you do? 兔子 B:I will cut you down to save my friend. 树: O. [ 突然醒悟 ] What?! Cut me down?! Teachers told us that we should protect the environment! Understand?! 兔子 B:Oh yes!You are right! [扔掉锄头] I have to think of another idea! [想了想] Oh!![灵感 突来][看了看手表] Oh it’s time to do morning exercise !Come on! [开始带头做早操。做着做 着对树说“Follow me!” (企图让树动起来,两只手松开,这样就可以救出兔子 A)树也开 始跟着做起早操。 兔子 B 轻轻上前,想救出兔子 A。但是树的广播操动作恰好都是会挡住 营救的。兔子 B 狂汗… -_-b 广播操毕。树继续绑着兔子 A] 兔子 B:Why?! Maybe I need another idea. Oh!I’v got it!Music! [音响放起泰坦尼克号主题 曲高潮前奏。 兔子 B 抱住树,企图引导树像女主角一样张开双臂,放出兔子 A。树渐渐陶 醉,手缓缓松开。兔子 B 正要搭救同伴,突然兔子 A 两只手张开,成了女主角动作。树又 抱住了兔子 A 的腰,成了男主角动作。树和 A 陶醉其中。B 要唤醒 A:“Wake up!Wake up!” 兔子 A 沉醉其中,完全不理它,还用脚踹走要救它的 B:“Don’t disturb me!”继续陶醉。] 兔子 B: (无奈 ing…)Stop! ! ! (音乐停) (沮丧)I can’t save my friend…[掏出纸巾想要擦 汗,带出 10 块钱,掉在地上] 树:Money![一个箭步冲上去捡起钱,回到原位并且对着太阳验钞。] 兔子 A:[看四周] I’m free!!!Oh yes,I’m free!Thank you,Jackey! [慢动作深情扑向兔子 B] Jackey~~~~ [突然兔子 B 低头系鞋带。 兔子 A 控制不住一下子撞在树上, 晕两下说: “暴头! ” 死翘。] [兔子 B 见状冲上去,深情地搂住 A:“Tommy!Tommy!”[伤心地俯下身子,紧紧抱 住 A] [这时睡觉中的农夫突然一个翻身,又把 B 压在了下面] 兔子 B:I…can’t….breath……I’m dying!!!! [也翘了] 农夫:[农夫这时候醒了。擦了下口水,看见两只兔子] En..?Two rubbits! I rememer I have caught just one?! Oh,maybe I drank too much. [兴奋地一手提一只兔子,哼着小曲下场] 树:[还在验钞的树正在高兴,突然发现是假钞]A!It’s a fake!Wait for me![追下去]
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