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2011新高考背景下的作文讲评课[名师公开课课件]


For Class 16, Senior Three

Six steps for the writing practice: How to get on with our parents

Step 1: examine the topic
议论文 (Argumentative Writing ) Style:______________________________________ present tense:______________ Paragraphs:
Paragraph 1: the common problem: parents care for everything Paragraph 2: how parents care for everythign of us Paragraph 3: the way to solve the problem

first person:_______________

Step 2: list the main points
1. the same problem

2. care for everything 3. make the generation gap deeper 4. worry about everything 5. make us grow up healthily and live happily 6. more understanding between…

Step 3: make some sentences:
1. We have the same problem. 2. Our parents care for everything of us. 3. They always tell us what we should do. 4. They do not let us do what we like to do. 5. The generation gap is deeper. 6. The purpose is to make us grow healthily and happily. 7. We are part of their life. 8. We carry their hope and expectation. 9. We should understand each other. 10.In this way, we can get on well with each other.

Step 4&5: connect the sentences and make some appolishment.

Step 6: Copy it out carefully and clearly.

Proof reading (find out 5 errors) Our parents concern about everything that we have done, which_______ us annoyed. They always worry about make makes everything and everybody, such as our study, entertainment and friends. As is often the case, they sometimes_____ our diary without our___________ look permit. "It's good permission read for you." they explain every time we ask them why. Children as we are, there are some basic personal rights, which should be protected. How to get on well with our parents? It's a problem. However, there is no reason for us to be against to our \ parents just because of it. Only when we try our best to communicate with them can we make each of us understand. It's your sincerity and patience can call their ∧ that respect on you. Why not have a try?

Suggestions for making our writing outstanding: 1.advanced words and phrases; 2.different abundant sentence patterns; 3.correct conjunctions.

Some copies from our homework:
Copy 1: It seems that our parents care too much about us. For example, they are telling us what we should do and what we mustn't do all the time and they also worry about all that we do. In order to keep us growing healthily and happily, they even want us to stay at home for a whole day at weekends if possible. However, we feel it difficult to breathe under such heavy pressure. We want to have more freedom and make decisions by ourselves. All in all, we should give more understanding to our parents. As we know, all the parents love their children. So if we show our love to them properly, they will understand us, too.

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Copy 2: What we must face with is that our parents always get everything of us under control, which makes us feel rather uncomfortable. To our disappointment, parents always worry about what we wear everyday, how we behave at school and our studies, our meals, even the friends we have made. What's more, they often say that the intension for these is to let us grow up healthily and happily. For fear of their feeling sad, we have to act as they require, rather than say a word. Child as I am, I entirely understand my parents. I think the key to it is to understand them. On the other hand, we should make our parents understand us, either. With the love between parents and us, we can lead a comfortable and senseful life!

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Copy 3: It is believed that our parents always pay attention to everything we do. They make it a rule that whatever we do, we should tell them. For example, tell them the reason and you can get the money which you ask for. Tell them where you go and then you can go out. They always worry about us. They take it for granted that whatever they do for us is good. They only want us to live happily and healthily. However, hadrdly do they change their mind no matter how we complain.

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The approach to solve the problem is to understand our parents and make ourselves understood. Only in this way can we get on well with our parents.

(徐佳峰 徐佳峰) 徐佳峰

Copy 4: Our parents care for everything we do. They always tell us what we should do and stop us doing whatever we like to do, which makes our generation gap deeper. However, as our parents, whatever they do is make us grow up healthily and live happily. From the time we were born, they worry about what we eat, how much sleep we get and how we behave at school. In fact, we have been becomg part of their lives and carrying all their hopes and expectations from our birth. It is they who bring our lives as well as comfort in life. Therefore, more understanding between us is a must to shorten our gap and improve our relationship. Only in this way can we get on well with each other and enjoy the companionship. (a possible version)

Some wonderful sentences from our homework:
1. Not until we understand our parents' concern and hope on us can we feel the love deeply from their hearts.(骆东浩 骆东浩) 骆东浩 2. What really makes us uncomfortable is that our parents worry about everything we have done. (徐航远 徐航远) 徐航远 3.The better we understand our parents, the easier it will be to get along with them. (韩振宇 韩振宇) 韩振宇 4. Only when we try our best to communicate with them can we make each of us understood. (卫晓文 卫晓文) 卫晓文 5. We have every reason to believe their purpose of our growing up healthily and happily. (王芳 王芳) 王芳 6. Our parents manage everything of us, which is beyond what we can stand. (俞慧峰 俞慧峰) 俞慧峰 7. What they don't know is that it will take away our freedom and make us unhappy. (吴伟健 吴伟健) 吴伟健

Six principles of making sentences (造 造 句成文六大原则): 句成文六大原则 : 1. advanced words (高级词汇原则 高级词汇原则) 高级词汇原则 2. adverbial advanceed (状语提前原则 状语提前原则) 状语提前原则 3. phrases preferred (短语优先原则 短语优先原则) 短语优先原则 4. compound sentence, composite sentence and sentence of special kind (并列句,复合句和特殊句式原则 并列句, 并列句 复合句和特殊句式原则) 5. long and short sentences alternately (长短句交替原则 长短句交替原则) 长短句交替原则 6. passages in paragraphs(短文分段分层原 短文分段分层原 则)

Five characteristics of outstanding writing: (高分作文的五大特性 高分作文的五大特性) 高分作文的五大特性 1. sense of order (条理性 段落完整,层次分明) 条理性: 条理性 段落完整,层次分明) 2. accuracy (准确性 语法准确,用词精当) 准确性: 语法准确,用词精当) 准确性 3. fluency (流畅性 层次清晰,行文连贯) 流畅性: 层次清晰,行文连贯) 流畅性 4. conciseness & variety (简洁,多样性 语言简 简洁, 简洁 多样性: 不重复) 洁,不重复) 5. ideological content (思想性 文章立意高,表 思想性: 思想性 文章立意高, 达个人观点内容积极向上) 达个人观点内容积极向上)

Homework: 1. Writing practice with the six steps; 2. Grammar exercise of adj. & adv.of <金版 P148 金版> 金版

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