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写作训练营第二期5.14日老萨精批10篇作文及思路汇总


写作训练营第二期 5.14 日被精批 10 人全部内容汇总

也许:
中文思路: 用时5分钟 不同意,这个说法太极端,增加老师的薪水不一定是提高教学水 平最好的方法。可以采用让步写法,写一个增加薪水的好,和两 个其他可以提高教学水平的好方法。 1 提高老师的薪水是个好方法,但不能说是最好的。老师的薪水 提高了, 家里的条件变好了,举例子讲老师在学校上课不会分心 家里怀孕的妻子或年迈的父母,可以全身心投入到学校工作中。 2 培训老师也同样重要。 可以使新老师快速熟悉教学,使教授级 别的老老师更新教学理念和方法。 3 更新教具也是个好办法。 可以让老师讲课更加方便流畅,还可 以激发学生们的学习兴趣。

英文思路: ?

disagree, ?exaggerated. ?to ?make ?a ?concession. ?one ?advantage ?of ?increasing ? ? salaries, ?and ?two ?other ?good ?methods ?to ?improve ?education ?quality. ? 1 ?.to ?increase ?salaries ?is ?good ?but ?not ?best==> ? ?teahcer ?more ? ? concentrate==>quality ?improved ?

2 ?.to ?train ?teachers ?regularly ?is ?important ?as ?well.==> ?new ?teachers ? ? adapt ?towork ?immediately ?& ?the ?old ?ones ?update ?their ?minds. ? 3 ?to ?upgrade ?teaching ?equipment==> ?teacher ?give ?class ?more ? ? conveniently ?and ?fluently ?& ?arouse ?students' ?interests ?in ?study. ?

老师点评:思路不错。加油写吧~

? ? ? ? Education ? plays ? an ? important ? role ? in ? a ? society. ? Good ? education ? in ? schools ? would ? improve ? the ? strengths ? of ? the ? whole ? country. ?Nowadays, ?teachers ?in ?some ?schools ?would ?be ?often ?paid ? high ?salaries, ?a ?way ?considered ?as ?the ?best ?to ?ameliorate ?education ? quality. ?Hardly ?can ?I ?agree ?with ?the ?statement, ?although ?there ?is ?a ? grain ?of ?truth ?in ?it. ? ? ? ? ? Admittedly, ? increasing ? teachers’ ? salaries ? is ? a ? good ? way ? to ? improve ?teaching ?quality, ?for ?teachers ?in ?this ?way ?can ?concentrate ? more ? on ? the ? work ? at ? school. ? For ? instance, ? a ? teacher ? who ? has ? a ? pregnant ?wife ?at ?home ?has ?to ?leave ?school ?early ?after ?class ?to ?care ? for ?his ?wife. ?He ?cannot ?stay ?at ?school ?late ?to ?answer ?questions ?from ? his ?students ?or ?tutor ?the ?weak ?ones ?individually. ?However, ?if ?he ?is ? paid ? high ? salary, ? he ? can ? hire ? a ? home-?‐helper ? to ? take ? his ? place ? of ? looking ?after ?his ?wife. ?And ?thus ?he ?would ?complete ?the ?work ?well ?

at ?school. ?However, ?to ?say ?that ?increasing ?teachers’ ?salaries ?is ?the ? best ?way ?to ?improve ?education ?quality ?is ?an ?overstatement. ? ? ? ? ? Training ?teachers ?regularly ?is ?also ?an ?indispensable ?point. ?For ? example, ?new ?teachers ?cannot ?adapt ?to ?their ?jobs ?quickly ?without ? training. ? They ? usually ? confuse ? about ? how ? to ? use ? teaching ? equipment ? like ? PPT, ? or ? right ? teaching ? process. ? All ? these ? disacquaintances ? would ? lead ? to ? obstacles ? in ? class ? and ? can ? be ? a ? waste ? of ? time. ? In ? addition, ? regular ? training ? can ? also ? update ? old ? teachers’ ?minds ?of ?knowledge. ?Some ?teaching ?methods ?professors ? used ?are ?out ?of ?date ?as ?the ?society ?is ?rapidly ?developing. ?Only ?if ?the ? schools ? help ? them ? improve ? their ? teaching ? methods, ? can ? the ? old ? professors ?catch ?up ?with ?the ?trends. ?Thus, ?if ?the ?quality ?of ?teachers ? cannot ?be ?guaranteed, ?payment ?raise ?will ?be ?in ?vain. ? ? ? ? ? What’s ? more, ? upgrading ? school ? facilities ? can ? also ? improve ? education ? quality. ? Students ? cannot ? make ? progress ? in ? scientific ? research ? without ? advanced ? experimental ? facilities. ? For ? example, ? students ?who ?major ?in ?science ?can ?always ?come ?up ?with ?new ?ideas ? and ? need ? to ? implement ? practically ? in ? labs. ? If ? there ? are ? not ? useful ? and ? convenient ? equipment ? provided ? by ? the ? school, ? the ? students ? whose ? passions ? for ? study ? are ? painfully ? stroked ? are ? limited ? to ?

create ? new ? things. ? Spacious ? libraries, ? interesting ? student ? centers, ? and ? well-?‐ ? equipped ? playgrounds ? are ? all ? necessary ? for ? good ? education. ? ? To ? conclude, ? although ? increasing ? teachers’ ? payment ? is ? a ? way ? to ? improve ?education, ?it ?needs ?more ?complements ?to ?accomplish ?the ? goal. ? If ? people ? want ? education ? to ? be ? elevated ? in ? a ? large ? extent, ? school ? should ? adopt ? various ? methods ? but ? not ? just ? increasing ? earnings ?of ?teachers. ? ? ? ? (411 字) ? 老师点评:写得不错,层次清晰,逻辑严密;能够具体有效地扩 展段落; 错误很少

Otter 夕
汉语思路:同意可行性,但不同意“最best”的说法 1.工资待遇高了,吸引人才从事此项工作,人才有能力,可以把工 作做好 例证:新东方学校网罗人才 (具体:a高工资待遇:一个暑假能挣来4年大学学费;b 讲得确 实好:逐字稿严谨+节奏紧凑+旁征博引)

2.工资待遇高了,学生、家长和校方都更加密切关注教学质量,起 到督促作用 类比:衣服昂贵-期待更高质量(耐磨、经洗、不褪色);小费昂 贵-更多关注服务质量及细节;同样,学费昂贵-期待更高质量教学 3.让步段:尽管提高教师工资可能会增加学生家庭负担,但是 (1)政府可以承担起一部分责任,减轻学生家庭经济负担 (2)增加的幅度平摊到每个学生并不能算是负担 (3)比起教学质量的大幅提高,平均每个学生增加一些学费还是 可以接受的,更是值得的,因为教育的潜力是无限的 4.结论:支持论点-提高工资可以提高教学质量;但是,反驳这是 最好的方法 (只要略提及其他的一些方法如: 加强道德环境建设、 使用精神奖励而非物质奖励、或使用物质奖励但不是提高工资奖 励.....etc, 就可以轻松驳倒绝对词);

英文思路: 1. ?Higher ?salary ?is ?more ?attractive ?to ?the ?talented. ?They ?are ?more ? capable ?to ?deal ?with ?the ?job. ? ? ? ? ? eg. ? ? ?Take ?New ?Oriental ?School ?as ?an ?example. ? ? ? ? ? during ?my ?GRE ?course, ?a ?teacher ?who ?is ?only ?21years ?old, ? young, ?capable, ?humorous, ?knowledgable, ?talk ?sense ?

his ?experience: ?GRE ?1500+ ?as ?a ?freshman ?in ?THU, ?TA ?@ ?NOS ?as ?a ? sophomore, ?a ?formal ?staff ?in ?his ?third ?grade ?and ?made ?a ?lot ?of ? money ?since ?then, ?now ?he ?has ?been ?admited ?in ?Stanford ?University ? ? 2. ?The ?higher ?salary, ?if ?made ?by ?increasing ?tuition, ?would ?draw ? more ?attention ?from ?the ?students, ?the ? parents ?and ?the ?school ?administration ? 3. ?Although ?the ?higher ?salary ?might ?result ?in ?increasing ?financial ? burden ?in ?students' ?family, ?the ?advatages ?can ?not ?be ?denied. ?And ?if ? it ?indeed ?lead ?to ?something ?like ?a ?burden, ?it ?can ?be ?solved ?via ? many ?ways. ?eg:goverment ?financial ?aid; ?Besides, ?just ?a ?little ?more ? tuition ?increase ?normally ?can ?not ?be ?called ?a ?burden. ? 4.To ?sum ?up, ?I ?basically ?agree ?with ?the ?statement ?that........, ?but ?not ? the ?"best ?way" ?part ?since ?the ?education ?quility ?improvement ?can ? be ?achieved ?by ?many ?other ?means, ?such ?as ?........ ?

老师点评:亲,你肿么把文章的重点都着眼于费用了。。。。咱 们题目是在说教育质量啊。 。 。 你同意去掉best后的说法, 就反best, 没有问题。但看清自己的立场了吗?咱是反别人的。反的话你让 步一下承认对方的好没问题,但用了两段去承认人家的好。。。。 要反重心应该在咱自己这一边。。。文章的大部分应该是我们自 己的观点怎么怎么好,这才是说理啊~

Basically, ? I ? agree ? with ? the ? statement ? that ? increasing ? teacher's ? salaries ?is ?conductive ?to ?the ?improvement ?in ?quality ?of ?education. ? However, ?I ?cast ?doubt ?on ?the ?point ?that ?it ?is ?the ?best ?way. ? ? First ? of ? all, ? higher ? salary ? is ? more ? attractive ? to ? the ? talented ? and ? talented ? people ? are ? more ? capable ? to ? deal ? with ? the ? job, ? which ? results ? in ? better ? quality ? of ? education. ? Take ? New ? Oriental ? School ? as ? an ? example, ? the ? high ? salaries ? it ? offers ? are ? really ? impressive, ? and ? the ? people ? work ? there ? are ? excellent. ? During ? my ? preparation ? for ? GRE ? test, ? there ? is ? a ? teacher ? in ? New ? Oriental ? School ? teached ? us ? reading ? course ? class ? doing ? an ? extraordinary ? job. ? As ? a ? fourth-?‐year ? undergraduate ? student, ? he ? was ? only ? 21years ? old ? then, ? a ? very ? young ? and ? capable ? man. ? He ? did ? a ? great ? job: ? the ? capacity ? in ? his ? lecture ?is ?large, ?the ?content ?is ?pertinent. ?He ?delivered ?his ?speech ?in ? a ?logical ?way ?fluently. ?His ?experience ?are ?also ?remarkable: ?getting ? 1500+ ?score ?in ?GRE ?test ?when ?he ?was ?a ?freshman ?in ?THU, ?and ?then ? become ? a ? teaching ? aid ? in ? New ? Oriental ? School ? as ? a ? sophomore ? student ?and ?a ?formal ?staff ?in ?third ?grade. ?Now ?he ?has ?been ?admited ? in ?Stanford ?University ?to ?study ?Computer ?Science. ?During ?the ?class, ? once ? he ? told ? us ? about ? the ? treatment ? in ? New ? Oriental ? School: ? teaching ? for ? a ? whole ? summer ? holidays ? as ? a ? formal ? staff, ? and ? one ? will ?earn ?enough ?money ?to ?pay ?for ?four-?‐year ?tuition ?in ?university. ?I ?

consider ? this ? quite ? impressive ? and ? attractive. ? No ? wonder ? this ? school ?can ?have ?such ?phenomenal ?teacher ?who ?teaches ?so ?well. ? ? In ?addition, ?the ?higher ?salary, ?if ?partly ?made ?by ?increasing ?tuition, ? would ?draw ?more ?attention ?from ?the ?students, ?the ?parents ?and ?the ? school ? administration ? on ? the ? quality ? of ? education, ? which ? urges ? the ? improvement. ?People ?always ?pay ?more ?attention ?on ?the ?quality ?of ? the ?products ?which ?they ?consume ?more ?on. ?If ?we ?pay ?a ?high ?price ? on ? a ? clothes, ? we ? may ? more ? prone ? to ? predict ? it ? has ? a ? high ? quality. ? Yet ? if ? it ? not ? meet ? our ? standard, ? we ? may ? be ? unsatisfied ? and ? try ? to ? find ? a ? solution ? to ? fix ? it ? or ? ask ? for ? compensation. ? As ? a ? kind ? of ? producion, ? education ? is ? focused ? on ? by ? its ? buyers ? as ? well: ? if ? the ? price ? is ? high ? yet ? the ? quality ? is ? poor, ? the ? customers-?‐ ? students,parents,school ? administration-?‐would ? not ? just ? take ? it. ? They ? will ? take ? action ? to ? urge ? the ? teacher ? or ? by ? other ? means ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education. ? Through ? supervision, ? the ? increasing ?salaries ?can ?indirectly ?improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education. ? ? However, ? I ? do ? not ? agree ? with ? that ? increasing ? teacher's ? salaries ? is ? the ?best ?way ?to ?improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education ?because ?there ?are ? other ? fine ? ways, ? such ? as ? updating ? the ? facilities, ? rewarding ? the ?

teacher ? who ? teaches ? well ? in ? a ? spiritual ? way. ? Those ? would ? also ? help. ? ? To ?sum ?up, ?I ?consider ?increasing ?teacher's ?salaries ?a ?feasible ?way ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education, ? but ? not ? necessarily ? the ? best ? way. ?

老师点评:开头段虽然开门见山表明立场,但无背景信息,殊为 不美;主题段落的内容不够协调,第二段过长,第三四段过短; 结尾段岁重述立场,无升华,显得无深度

荆潇
不同意。高薪水能够有助于提高教育水平,但不是最好。 1.高薪水可能会降低老师的教学积极性。例如:有的老师拿了高薪 水,就可能利用空闲时间去购物而不是钻研教学 2.高薪水可能会让老师与学生的联系变弱。例如:老师拿了高薪水 就出去旅游而不能够留在学校跟学生多交流 3.最重要的是老师高薪水并不能够直接提升教育水平。 有实力的老 师值得高薪水,但实力不是很好老师拿高薪水并不能够提升教育 水平。

Disagree ? teachers ?with ?high ?salaries ? ? ?=! ? ?quality ?of ?education ?increasingly ? 1.high ?salary ?=> ?lower ?postive ? ?=> ?shopping ?=> ?not ?research ?in ? teaching ? 2.high ?salay ?=> ?travel ?=> ?far ?away ?for ?students ? 3.good ?teachers ?= ?high ?salaries ? ? ? ? general ?teachers ?=? ?high ? salaries ? ? ?activite ?teacher ?to ?study ?teaching ? TOTAL(5mins) ?

老师点评:你说“高薪水能够有助于提高教育水平”,可是后面的三 个分论点没有一个是在说“高工资好”,反而是在说高工资的“不 好”——这是不是一种跑题? 后面你说“但不是最好”,可后面分论点哪一点是在证明不是最好, 或者是不是该证明有比他还好的方法?(可惜没有看到) A glimpse of this topic reminds me an unforgettable picture, my math teacher wrote a plenty of formulas and my classmates and I were reciting those on the blackboard. From my perspective, I disagree with the topic, because there are many other means could replace increase salaries to improve the quality of education. In order to have a better condition for students, we could upgrade our lab facility. Because of most of the students always study the theories at school, they don’t have a chance to test knowledge they study every day. If we buy certain new lab facilities for our students, they could find some interests in experiment, and then they would learn with much more passion. For this reason, the education level will certainly be promoted. Another way to lift the quality of education is to encourage teacher to study how to make student understand the knowledge easier. We could hold a teaching competition between teachers, and students are judges. If one is accepted and is conceded that

he or she teaches better by students, he or she would get a big pride from school to praise his or her work. Thus, teachers would like to search teaching approach and the quality of education definitely advance. However, if we give teachers high salaries, it may draw a wrong result. For example, when a teacher gets much money, he or she will take some other things into account, such as shopping and travel. And when he or she plans to do that, he or she may be negative in teaching and far away for students. So it is absolutely bad for education. Therefore, we could conclude, from the above discussion, raise salaries are not the best way to promote the quality of education. We prefer to choose other more effective ways, so as to advance the education level. 词数写得有点少了,不知道该怎么继续丰富论点?

老师点评:如果说单纯说理不足以支撑起一片丰满的文章,那就 考虑举例吧

Mw77
第一段:交代背景,表明观点不同意 第二段:简述反1引出正1:不可否认,金钱是提高教学质量的方 法之一,如金钱可以提高老师的积极性---愿意教更多的课程,想 尽办法提高学生成绩。但考虑到以下一些因素,可以认为这并不 是最好的方法。 第三段:正1:高薪会影响老师的价值观。有些老师会认为金钱数 量等同于教育质量----从而用金钱来衡量教育的质量---有的老师 导致教育质量下降,从而影响学生的价值观,影响社会的发展。 (比如有的学校要求通过课时数目来记录工资绩效,老师盲目追 求数量而忽略教学质量) 第四段:正2:高薪会影响老师与学生的交流。例如老师会去利用 金钱去做其他事情,而减少与学生沟通的机会,进而影响教学质 量。 第五段:结论:金钱是提高教学质量的方法之一,而并不一定是 最好的方法。除了提高教师工资,还可以考虑其他方法

老师点评:思路可以,但论证不是很全面。你要证明 A 不是最好 的,那你要么证明 B 是最好的,要么只需要证明 B 跟 A 一样好。 但你的思路一直着眼于 A 本身,只拿 A 说事没什么太大说服力。 建议三四段合为一段,下一段提出提高教育质量的另一种方式。 这样更有说服力

? ? ? ? Nowadays ? more ? and ? more ? people ? have ? realized ? that ? education ? is ? the ? foundation ? of ? a ? country’s ? development, ? and ? how ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education ? of ? course ? becomes ? the ? focus, ? for ? different ? views ? may ? hold ? by ? different ? people ? on ? account ? of ? certain ? benefits. ? Take ? this ? topic ? for ? example, ? does ? increase ? teachers’ ? salaries ? is ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education? ?The ?answer ?is ?definitely ?“No”. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? First ? of ? all, ? we ? have ? to ? admit ? that ? increasing ? teachers’ ? salaries ?is ?one ?of ?the ?ways ?to ?improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education, ?for ? teachers ? may ? get ? some ? enthusiasm ? and ? motivations ? from ? salary ? increasing. ? However, ? does ? increasing ? teachers’ ? salary ? have ? any ? other ?disadvantages? ?The ?answers ?should ?be ?considerable ?for ?the ? following ?reasons. ? ? ? ? ? ? On ? the ? one ? hand, ? money ? is ? not ? everything, ? and ? using ? money ? to ? evaluate ? teachers ? work ? may ? affect ? teacher’s ? value. ? In ? other ? to ? earn ?higher ?salary, ?some ?teachers’ ?thought ?probably ?be ?controlled ? by ? money. ? For ? example, ? if ? a ? salary ? increasing ? are ? measured ? by ? the ? quantity ? of ? lessons, ? or ? students ? performances ? in ? tests, ? teachers ? may ?definitely ?try ?them ?best ?to ?achieve ?much ?goals ?so ?that ?to ?make ?

a ? higher ? money. ? Gradually, ? students ? are ? becoming ? test ? machines, ? while ?their ?comprehensive ?ability ?and ?other ?skills ?will ?be ?lost. ?On ? the ? other ? hand, ? teachers ? who ? are ? busing ? with ? pursuing ? of ? higher ? income ? may ? sometimes ? cut ? communication ? opportunities ? with ? students. ? If ? this ? happens, ? teachers ? will ? never ? comprehend ? the ? problems ? of ? students ? during ? the ? process ? of ? acquiring ? knowledge ? and ? their ? school ? life. ? Therefore, ? without ? solving ? students’ ? real ? problems, ? how ? could ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education ? be ? effective? ? ? ? In ? the ? end, ? we ? can ? easily ? get ? a ? conclusion ? from ? these ? two ? cases, ? increasing ? teachers’ ? salary ? cannot ? always ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education, ?and ?sometimes ?it ?may ?bring ?negative ?influence. ? ? ? ? ? In ? addition, ? there ? are ? other ? methods ? can ? raise ? the ? quality ? of ? education ? as ? increasing ? teachers’ ? salary ? does. ? For ? instance, ? applying ? teaching ? tools ? to ? courses, ? like ? using ? multi-?‐media ? to ? stimulate ? students’ ? interest. ? Other ? examples ? like ? treat ? different ? students ? with ? different ? education ? ways, ? or ? organizing ? some ? meaningful ? activities ? to ? let ? students ? put ? their ? knowledge ? from ? books ? into ? practices, ? are ? all ? good ? ways ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education. ? Sure ? enough, ? we ? cannot ? just ? merely ? recognize ? that ? increasing ? money ? of ? teacher’ ? is ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ?of ?education. ?

? ? ? All ? in ? all, ? there ? are ? a ? lot ? of ? methods ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education. ? Among ? those ? methods ? is ? increasing ? teachers' ? salaries. ? However, ?every ?coin ?has ?two ?sides, ?and ?therefore ?it ?is ?not ?proper ? to ?claim ?that ?the ?best ?way ?to ?improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education ?is ?to ? increase ?teachers' ?salaries. ?

老师点评: 结构不是很合理, 每段的比重要权衡。 最后一点说 other ways 的时候,只把一种方式说清楚就行。语言没什么问题。

Lucifer-wh
汉语思路: 背景:随着人们基本生活得到了满足,开始越来越关 注下一代的培养,教育质量也就越来越受重视。 观点:提高工资不是最好提高教育质量的方法,最好的 方法是同时提高工资以及其他重要的影响因素。 论证:1)让步:提高工资在一定程度上有促进作用,但 是是有限的。不如其他方法好。 2)教师本身水平,如果本身水平不够,再涨工资也 提高不了教育质量。

3)教师的态度,如果他只是为了工资的话,没有积 极性,提高不了教育质量。 总结:只有将上述的因素都提高,才是最好的提高教育 质量的办法。 时间:10 分钟

英文思路: Disgree ? people ?pay ?more ?attention ?to ?quality ?of ?education ?-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐>one ?idea: ? increased ? ?salary ?increase ?in ?quality ?of ?eduation ?-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐> ?not ?the ?best ? way(restrict ?by ?several ?other ?factor)-?‐-?‐-?‐>the ?best ?way ?is ?to ?increase ? salary ?and ?other ?important ?factors. ? 1. ?maybe ?incease, ?but ?not ?the ?best ?way. ?i.g. ?the ?best ?teacher ?in ?the ? world ?isn't ?the ?teacher ?with ?higheset ?salary. ? 2. ?ability ?of ?teachers ?themselves ? 3. ?attitude ?toward ?the ?job, ?teaching. ? Summary: ?increase ?salary ?is ?not ?the ?best ?way, ?the ?best ?way ?is ?to ? increase ?salary, ?ability ?and ?attitude ?together. ? ? Time: ?10 ?minutes ?

老师点评:思路可以,先写写看

? ? ? People ? increasingly ? focus ? on ? the ? quality ? of ? education, ? since ? the ? characters ? of ? our ? next ? generation ? are ? more ? and ? more ? important. ? Contrary ?to ?many ?people ?is ?my ?heartfelt ?objection ?to ?the ?idea ?that ? to ? increase ? the ? salararies ? of ? teachers ? is ? the ? best ? solution ? to ? improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education. ? ? ? ? ? Admittedly, ?high ?income ?is ?good ?at ?teaching ?in ?some ?ways, ?but ? it's ? hard ? to ? say ? that ? this ? is ? the ? best ? method. ? For ? example, ? the ? teachers ? in ? public ? school ? have ? a ? lower ? salary ? than ? those ? in ? private ? school, ? but ? there's ? no ? way ? we ? jump ? to ? the ? conclusion ? that ? the ? former ? undeniably ? have ? lower ? score ? in ? teaching ? than ? the ? latter. ? As ? we ?all ?know ?money ?can't ?buy ?everything. ? ? ? ? ? ? One ? factor, ? we ? all ? should ? know, ? that ? influences ? education ? deeply ? is ? the ? ability ? of ? teachers ? themselves. ? It's ? common ? sense ? that ?you ?can't ?let ?tigers ?climb ?trees ?no ?matter ?how ?much ?effort ?you ? do ?on ?them. ?Similarly, ?for ?instance, ?if ?the ?teachers ?graduated ?from ? elementary ?school, ?they ?are ?not ?capable ?of ?doing ?well ?in ?teaching ? with ? salary ? increased ? only. ? The ? high ? priority ? for ? them ? is ? to ? promote ?themselves ?in ?profession. ? ?

? ? ? ? Another ? factor ? also ? plays ? a ? considerable ? role ? is ? attitude. ? A ? celebrity ?once ?said ?that ?heart ?determines ?where ?you ?go. ?Attitude, ? indeed, ?varies ?the ?quality ?of ?teaching. ?We ?can ?take ?Mr. ?Yu ?of ?New ? Oriental ? as ? an ? example. ? He's ? focus ? on ? teaching ? students ? how ? to ? pass ? English ? exams, ? without ? dedicated ? in ? his ? job ? he ? would ? never ? be ?as ?successful ?as ?he ?is ?now. ? ? ? ? ? ? In ? conclusion, ? undeniable ? though ? the ? improvement ? that ? raised ? payment ? leads ? to ? education ? is, ? they ? can ? not ? compete ? with ? the ? benefit ? that ? Increasing ? incomes, ? capability ? in ? career, ? and ? attitude ? toward ? teaching ? simultaneously ? brings ? about. ? To ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education, ? focusing ? only ? on ? high ? salary ? isn't ? the ? terminate ?solution. ?

老师点评:字数不足,勉强还不到 300 字。想要说清楚一件事, 讲明一些道理。这些字数几乎是不可能的

阿狸的眼睛
中文思路: 现在社会发展飞快,越来越需要更多高素质的人才。人们对下一 代的培养教育方面的关注度加大,主要关心的就是其教育质量问 题。

论点:增长教师薪水,只可能提高教师的教育积极性,但并不是 可以改善教育质量的最好方法。 论证:(1)教师应提高其自身的素质,改变教育模式,提高学生 学习效率 (2)学校应及时更新和增加实验设备,更好的营造学习氛围,增 加学生的学习兴趣 (3)教师的教育态度与方式应不是与工资相关,其态度应端正, 才能更好的改善教育质量,培养出优秀人才 总结:涨工资不是最好的提高教育质量的方法。 时间:10 分钟

英文思路: Disgree ? More ? talents-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐>people ? pay ? more ? attention ? to ? quality ? of ? education ? -?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐>increase ? teachers’ ? salaries ? is ? not ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐-?‐>there ? are ? other ? important ? factors ?to ?improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education ?, ?to ?increase ?teachers’ ? salaries ?can ?improve ?teachers’motivation ? 1. ?teachers’ ?ability ? 2. ?upgrade ?and ?increase ?facilities ? 3. ?teachers’ ?attitude ?about ?teaching ?

Summary: ?the ?best ?way ?is ?to ?improve ?teachers’ ?ability, ?to ?upgrade ? and ?increase ?facilities ?and ?to ?change ?teachers’ ?attitude ?. ? ? Time: ?10 ?minutes ?

老师点评:点都可以,顺序问题。第三点其实是反,那应该放在 第一点的位置上,先反再立才是有力的论证。 ? ? ? With ?rapid ?development ?of ?the ?society, ?majority ?of ?companies ? actively ?go ?out ?visiting ?talents, ?who ?are ?the ?master ?of ?science ?and ? technology ?management. ?People ?pay ?more ?attention ?to ?next ? generation’s ?education, ?especially ?the ?quality. ?There ?are ?a ?great ? many ?of ?ways ?to ?improve ?it. ? ? ? ? ? Increasing ?teachers’ ?salaries ?is ?a ?way ?to ?improve ?the ?quality. ?It ? is ?useful ?to ?enhance ?the ?motivation ?of ?teachers, ?but ?it ?can ?not ?be ? the ?best ?one. ?Teachers, ?whose ?mission ?is ?to ?teach ?knowledge ?and ? ability ?to ?students, ?should ?concern ?more ?about ?how ?to ?make ?their ? teaching ?perfect ?and ?attract ?students’ ?attention. ?Wage ?growth ?of ? teachers, ?although ?unavoidable, ?may ?be ?helpful ?to ?improve ?the ? education’s ?quality. ?Having ?high ?payment, ?teachers ?are ?given ?an ? incentive ?to ?do ?better. ?However, ?if ?the ?attitude ?of ?teacher ?is ?related ? to ?salaries, ?it ?is ?no ?effect ?to ?improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education ?by ?

increasing ?their ?salaries. ?There ?are ?still ?some ?other ?aspects ?about ? improvement ?of ?education. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? As ?the ?proverb ?says: ?‘”Never ?too ?old ?to ?learn”. ?Teacher ?should ? strengthen ?their ?teaching ?abilities ?all ?the ?time ?in ?order ?that ? students ?could ?learn ?more ?knowledge ?adequately. ?With ?possessing ? high ?quality, ?the ?formation ?of ?an ?academic ?and ?easy ?atmosphere ?is ? built ?by ?teachers. ?Students, ?when ?interested ?in ?comprehensive ? subjects, ?study ?more ?clearly ?and ?efficiently. ?In ?that ?way, ?the ?quality ? of ?education ?will ?be ?improved ?by ?students ?and ?teachers. ?Teachers, ? meanwhile, ?could ?alter ?their ?own ?teaching ?mode ?in ?order ?that ? students ?are ?willing ?to ?enrich ?their ?brain. ?The ?importance ?of ? teachers ?to ?students ?can ?never ?be ?exaggerated. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? In ?addition, ?a ?significant ?way ?to ?improve ?the ?quality ?is ?that ? school ?should ?upgrade ?and ?increase ?the ?facilities, ?such ?as ?the ? environment ?of ?library, ?the ?equipments ?of ?experiment. ?Students, ? who ?desire ?to ?study ?further, ?can ?obtain ?knowledge ?not ?only ?in ?the ? class, ?but ?also ?in ?the ?labs ?and ?library. ?The ?ability ?of ?study ? independence, ?which ?is ?a ?character ?of ?achiever, ?contributes ? directly ?to ?self-?‐improvement ?and ?puts ?them ?in ?a ?favorable ?position. ?

Consequently, ?students ?will ?have ?pleasant ?associations ?with ?study ? by ?comfortable ?conditions. ? ? ? ? ? ? To ? sum ? up, ? increasing ? teachers’ ? salaries ? is ? a ? viable ? way ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education, ? but ? is ? not ? the ? best ? way. ? Why ? not ? to ? search ? other ? ways, ? that ? more ? effective ? and ? important ? to ? the ? quality ?of ?education? ? ? 老师点评: ? 第二段说的太散,本来可以以第一句为中心句来说,结果你一会 儿说这一会儿说那。记住,每段只说一个点,只讲一个事

id252160673
中文思路:实际用时(约10分钟) 不同意。增加教师薪水的确可以增加教育质量,但这只是很小的 一方面。提高教育质量应该从其他方面入手。 1.为学生创造自由和轻松的学术氛围是最主要的; 2.如果有钱,投资研究所、图书馆等硬件设施,为学生创造更好的 学习环境是基础效果会更好; 3.虽然增加薪水会吸引更多人才投身教育行业、增加教师积极性, 但这不是最好的方法。

英文思路:实际用时 (近20分钟) Disagree. ?Increase ?salaries→ ?increase ?a ?little ?bit ?quality→ ?another ? way ?to ?improve ? 1. ? ? ?academic ?atmosphere→ ?creative ?spirit ?of ?students ? 2. ? ? ?lab&lib→ ? equipment,database→ ? more ? experiment ? and ? opportunity→ ?practice ?is ?better ?than ?sitting ?on ?the ?class ? 3. ? ? ? increase ?salaries ?is ?important→ ?not ?the ?best ?way ?

老师点评:第三点是反的,最好放在第一点,先反再立是严密的 论证思路。 ?Increasing ? teachers’ ? salaries ? could ? not ? be ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education. ? It ? is ? useful ? only ? under ? some ?

conditions, ? but ? it ? can ? not ? be ? the ? best ? one. ? We ? should ? pay ? more ? attention ?to ?other ?aspects. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? I ?think ?it ?is ?the ?most ?important ?thing ?to ?create ?an ?academic ? atmosphere ? which ? can ? liberation ? students’ ? mind ? and ? make ? them ? relaxed. ?In ?our ?school, ?too ?many ?schoolmates ?sit ?in ?the ?classroom ? for ? 4 ? hours, ? 5 ? hours, ? even ? in ? 8 ? hours, ? “looking ? at ? the ? book”, ? not ? reading ?at ?all. ?And ?in ?our ?lab, ?I ?had ?never ?asked ?myself: ?Why ?I ?will ? do ? these ? things? ? What ? I ? am ? doing ? that ? for? ? We ? are ? students, ? not ? the ? slaves ? of ? books ? and ? experiments. ? So ? I ? think, ? a ? good ? atmosphere ?is ?the ?most ?important ?for ?students ?to ?learn. ?It ?can ?help ? students ? stimulate ? their ? creative ? spirit ? and ? do ? not ? write ? too ? fast ? to ? think ?about ?what ?I ?am ?writing ?right ?now. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? On ? the ? other ? hand, ? if ? you ? have ? enough ? funds, ? labs ? and ? libraries ? probably ? are ? ? worth ? paying ? for. ? Because ? labs ? and ? libraries ?are ?the ?spirit ?of ?a ?school. ?As ?we ?know, ?experiment ?is ?the ? origin ? of ? nature ? science ? and ? it ? is ? the ? only ? way ? our ? human ? beings ? view ?the ?world. ?At ?the ?same ?time, ?not ?only ?view ?the ?world, ?but ?also ? increase ? their ? experience. ? That ? is ? why ? lab ? is ? one ? of ? the ? most ? symbols ?of ?education. ?If ?lab ?is ?an ?adventurer ?who ?is ?exploring ?the ? road, ? library ? is ? the ? one ? who ? carries ? a ? barrel ? of ? gunpowder ? followed ? by. ? Have ? any ? questions? ? Go ? to ? the ? library! ? In ? his ? barrel, ? you ? can ? take ? away ? everything ? you ? want ? to ? know. ? We ? can ? see ? the ?

power ? of ? knowledge ? here. ? It ? can ? improve ? efficiency ? of ? your ? project. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Forget ?increasing ?salaries. ?Although ?it ?can ?attract ?more ?staff ? and ?can ?make ?teachers ?more ?active, ?we ?should ?know ?that ?creative ? spirit ?and ?practice ?are ?better ?than ?sitting ?on ?the ?class. ?So ?I ?do ?not ? think ? it ? is ? a ? good ? idea, ? increasing ? teachers’ ? salaries ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ?of ?education. ?

老师点评:开头结尾写得不给力啊。想办法再扩展些。开头要有 背景信息。结尾要升华

?

? ? ?

grece91
同意: 完成此步实际用时 (8分钟 ) 老萨老师规定用时 (5分钟) 提高教学质量最主要的就是提高教学设备水平和吸引和留住 好教师。教学设备很容易买到,但就目前的教师工资,要想吸引 和留住人才,培养他们成为好老师并不容易。大幅提高教师工资 水平, 必然会带来很明显的效果, 是改善教育质量最根本的快速、 有效的办法。 1. 最根本、最直接:提高工资水平,将有助于吸引聪明、有创

意和更多真正热爱教学工作的老师,也有助于留住人才,提高教 学水平指日可待。相比于其他办法是最根本的解决办法。 2. 最有效 :增加教师工资后,人才增多,教师之间的竞争变得

比以前激烈,教师将主动提高教学水平,将有效提高教师们的教 学水平。 3. 让步:虽然提高教师工资不是最终的解决办法,但在目前来

看,教师工资相比其他高薪行业还有很大的提升空间,所以今后 很长一段时间内这还是最好的办法。

下次碰到这样题目,一定改用反证法,best是绝对用词,只有驳论 法才是正道吧。又写了不同意的思路。两种驳论方法的思路。 不同意(驳论方法一:转折法):完成此步实际用时 (8分钟 ) 老萨老师规定用时(5分钟)

提高工资虽然是个好办法, 但不是提高教学质量的最好办法。 这个办法有其局限性和片面性。有比这个办法更好的解决办法。 1. 先肯定: 提高工资确实可以吸引一些优秀的大学毕业生成为老 师。也可以留住一些好老师,使他们不会因为工资比别的行业低 很多而改行。可以在一定程度上改善教学质量。 2. 再否定: 但这个办法不是最好的。改善教学质量,最根本的 是提高教师的教学水平。而提高教学水平最有效的办法是,将教 育经费花在培训教师和改进教师教育方法上,而不是把教育经费 用来提高教师工资。 3. 进一步论证:提高教学水平是需要综合考虑各个方面, 只在工 资这一个方面考虑,不可能取得最好的效果。

不同意(驳论方法二:反证法): 提高工资虽然是个好办法, 但不是提高教学质量的最好办法。 1. 先肯定: 提高工资确实可以吸引一些优秀的大学毕业生成为老 师。也可以留住一些好老师,使他们不会因为工资比别的行业低 很多而改行。可以在一定程度上改善教学质量。 2. 再否定: 但这个办法不是最好的。 如果认为它是最好的办法, 大家都如此来做,就会产生不好的后果。 1)各个学校将攀比教师工资,使得教师频繁跳槽,使得学生的学 习受到影响,反而会降低教学质量。

2)学校将把钱大比例用于提高教师工资,因此其他方面拨到的资 金将会减少,比如教师培训、改善教学设备等方面。 3. 进一步论证:提高教学水平是需要综合考虑各个方面, 只在工 资这一个方面考虑,不可能取得最好的效果。

英文思路: Agree ?Improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education ?→ ?facilities ?and ?teachers ?→ ? facilities ? are ? easy ? to ? buy ? → ? good ? teachers ? are ? hard ? tofind ? or ? retain. ?Increase ?teachers’ ?salaries ?→ ?attract ?and ?retain ?moretalents ? → ? the ? most ? direct, ? fast ? andeffective ? way ? ?1. ? ?direct ? & ? fast ? way ? to ? attract ? and ? retain ? more ? good ? teachers: ? ? ? ? ? ?increase ? salaries ? → ? 1) ? attract ? top ? undergraduates ? 2) ? ?attract ? who ? love ? education ? → ? use ? high ? salary ? to ? retainand ? cultivate ? them ? → ? improve ? the ? quality ? ofeducation ?2. ? ?most ? effective ? way : ? ? ? ? ? ?increase ? salaries ? → ? increase ?competition ?→ ?results: ?1) ? ?findmore ?effective ?methods ?to ? teach; ? ?2) ? be ? nice ? and ? patient ? to ? studentsdue ? to ? the ? evaluation ? → ? ?students ? love ? tolearn→ ? both ? improve ? the ? quality ?

ofeducation ?3. ? ?increasing ?salary ?→ ?may ?be ?not ?the ?final ?answer ?→ ? but ? in ? long ? run ? → ? best ? way ? ?disagree(better ? ways) ?increase ? salaries ?→ ?a ?good ?way ?→ ?positive ?effects ?but ?limited ? ?→ ?not ?best ? ?→ ? there ? are ? better ? ways ?1. ? Increase ? salaries ? ?→ ? ?a ? good ? way ? → ? attract ? and ? retain ? goodteachers ? ?2. ? However, ? it ? is ? not ? the ? best ? → ? the ?

quality ?of ?education ?→ ?mainly ?depends ?on ?the ?ways ?of ?teaching ?→ ? schools ? should ? spend ? more ? money ? on ? training ? teachers ? and ? improving ?the ?facilities ?rather ?than ?on ?increasing ?teachers' ?salaries. ? ?3. ? Improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education ? → ? many ? aspects ? have ? to ? becovered ? → ? an ? integrated ? way ? is ? betterthan ? the ? way ? of ? only ? increasing ?salaries. ? ?disagree(bad ?effects) ? Increase ?salaries ?→ ?a ?good ?way ?→ ?not ?best ?→ ?if ?it ?is ?regardedas ?be ? the ?best ?way ?→ ?a ?lot ?of ?bad ?effects ? 1. ? Bad ? effect: ? schoolswill ? compete ? on ? salaries ? → ? teachers ? will ? change ? jobs ? frequently ? → ? affect ? students ? severely ? → ? lower ? the ? quality ?of ?education ? ? ? 2. ? Bad ? effect: ? schoolswill ? allocate ? more ? money ? on ? teachers’ ? salaries ? → ? less ? money ? left ? for ? improving ? facilitiesand ? training ? teachers→ ?cannotimprove ?the ?quality ?of ?education ? 3. ? Improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education ? → ? many ? aspects ? have ? to ? be ? covered ? → ? an ? integrated ? way ? is ? better ? than ? the ? way ? of ? only ? increasing ?salaries. ? ? 老师点评:你自己也看出来了,同意这种绝对词的比较难写。第 二个思路中你又自己提出了自己认为的最好的办法,这不是相当 于你刚跳出一个套,又马上跳入了自己设的另一个套嘛。。。要 证明A好,那得说明A比所有其他都好啊,在短短不到500字的作文

里,你能说清嘛。。。所以,避免绝对词的使用才是王道啊。。。 第三个思路可以哈

When ? it ? is ? coming ? to ? improving ? the ? quality ? of ? education, ? many ? people ?always ?consider ?of ?increasing ?teachers’ ?salaries ?as ?the ?best ? way. ? Certainly, ? it ? is ? a ? good ? way ? to ? attract ? and ? retain ? excellent ? teachers ? and ? may ? bring ? positive ? effects. ? However, ? its ? effects ? will ? probably ? be ? limited ? because ? the ? quality ? of ? education ? does ? not ? directly ? or ? simply ? rely ? on ? the ? salary ? level. ? If ? most ? of ? the ? schools ? regard ? of ? increasing ? teachers’ ? salaries ? as ? the ? best ? way ? and ? then ? make ?it ?as ?the ?priority ?on ?to-?‐do ?lists, ?the ?quality ?of ?education ?will ? even ?become ?worse. ? ? If ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education ? is ? to ? increase ? teachers' ? salaries, ? it ? will ? turn ? out ? to ? be ? the ? priority ? on ? the ? to-?‐do ? lists ? of ? schools. ? Schools ? will ? have ? to ? increase ? teachers’ ? salaries ? constantly ? in ? order ? to ? compete ? with ? each ? other. ? Then, ? instead ? of ? concentrating ? on ? improving ? teaching ? skills, ? teachers ? will ? be ? frequently ?distracted ?by ?paying ?too ?much ?attention ?on ?comparing ? salaries ?and ?on ?whether ?they ?should ?switch ?to ?a ?school ?with ?higher ?

salaries. ? Eventually, ? it ? seems ? that ? increasing ? salaries ? becomes ? a ? way ?to ?encourage ?job-?‐hopping ?rather ?than ?to ?improve ?the ?quality ? of ?education. ? ? ? If ? increasing ? teachers' ? salaries ? are ? accepted ? as ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education, ?schools ?will ?allocate ?more ?money ? on ?teachers’ ?salaries. ?Therefore, ?less ?money ?will ?be ?left ?for ?training ? teachers ? and ? improving ? facilities. ? ?Before ? long, ? the ? quality ? of ? education ? will ? be ? hardly ? maintained ? or ? even ? be ? lowered. ? More ? impossible ?negative ?effects ?can ?be ?easily ?listed ?due ?to ?considering ? of ? improving ? teachers’ ? salaries ? as ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ? the ? quality ?of ?education. ? ? ? It ?is ?a ?complex ?issue ?of ?improving ?the ?quality ?of ?education, ?so ?it ?is ? very ? dangerous ? to ? overweigh ? one ? solution ? and ? underrate ? other ? ways. ? Schools ? should ? adopt ? different ? ways ? under ? different ? conditions ?because ?there ?is ?no ?best ?solution ?for ?all ?problems. ?For ? instance, ? teachers’ ? salaries ? in ? rural ? schools ? are ? much ? lower ? than ? average ? salaries. ? For ? these ? schools, ? increasing ? salaries ? may ? be ? a ? perfect ?way ?to ?attract ?excellent ?undergraduates ?to ?teach ?in ?and ?to ? retain ? experienced ? teachers. ? However, ? for ? schools ? in ? developed ? cities, ? salaries ? and ? benefits ? have ? been ? good ? enough ? to ? attract ?

talents. ? Schools ? should ? spend ? more ? on ? training ? new ? teachers ? in ? order ?to ?assist ?them ?to ?be ?more ?professional. ? ? In ?general, ?I ?do ?not ?agree ?with ?the ?statement ?that ?the ?best ?way ?to ? improve ? the ? quality ? of ? education ? is ? to ? increase ? teachers' ? salaries. ? There ?is ?no ?best ?way ?suit ?to ?every ?schools ?or ?appropriate ?for ?every ? conditions. ? For ? such ? a ? complex ? issue, ? we ? should ? rise ? up ? integrated ? solutions ?and ?should ?not ?count ?much ?on ?the ?so ?called ?best ?way. ?

泽林斯基: 汉语思路:

观点:不同意。虽然加工资能对教学质量提升产生一些帮助,但是有比加 更好的方法,而且加工资有时会产生相反的作用。

论点:1. 加工资的确能对教学质量提上产生一些帮助,比如提升部分教师 积极性。但是,有更好的方法,比如改变教育的制度。

2. 加工资有事会产生反作用。对于工资本来不低的教师,加工资以 工资更高了,他们会更偏好增加休息时间,减少工作时间。

3. 加工资不能解决根本问题。如果教师自身教学水平有限,加再多 也没用。

结论:虽然加工资有时有促进作用,但是,加工资不是做好的方法。 ? 英文思路:用时(8 min) Thesis: Disagree. ?Good ?but ?not ?the ?best→ ?sth. ?is ?better→ ?opposite ? ? result ? Point ?1. ?positive ?effect→ ?impetus ?to ?teachers→ ?but ?not ?the ?best→ ? some ?method ?is ?better ? Point ? 2. ? opposite ? effect→ ? more ? salaries, ? more ? rest ? time ? and ? less ? work ?time ? ? Point ?3. ?not ?the ?essence→ ?more ?salaries ?cannot ?save ?bag ?teacher ? ? Point ? 4. ? Better ? methods→ ? change ? educational ? system→ ? students' ? self ?work ? Conclusion: ?Increasing ?salaries ?is ?not ?the ?best ?method. ?

老师点评:思路可以,加油写吧亲

High-?‐caliber ?education ?creates ?phenomenon. ?Phenomenon ?plays ?a ? vital ?role ?in ?China's ?development. ?Therefore, ?improving ?the ?quality ? of ? education ? is ? significant. ? Someone ? believes ? that ? increasing ? teachers' ? salaries ? is ? the ? best ? way, ? which ? I ? don't ? agree ? with. ? Increasing ?teachers ?salaries ?may ?make ?some ?differences ?but ?some ? other ? ways ? are ? much ? better. ? Meanwhile, ? increasing ? salaries ? may ? have ?some ?opposite ?effects. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Increasing ? teachers' ? salaries ? is ? not ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ? the ?quality ?of ?education. ?Although, ?sometimes, ?it ?can ?impetus ?some ? young ?teachers ?to ?spare ?more ?effort ?and ?time ?on ?teaching ?students, ? this ? way ? is ? the ? culprit ? of ? some ? opposite ? effect ? on ? some ? wealthy ? teachers. ? In ? the ? light ? of ? ?microeconomics' ? theory, ? increased ? salaries ? will ? hence ? teachers' ? preference ? on ? increasing ? rest ? time ? and ?decreasing ?work ?time. ?Thus, ?educational ?quality ?will ?be ?worse. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Increasing ? salaries ? can't ? solve ? the ? essential ? problem. ? The ? quality ? of ? a ? teacher ? always ? plays ? a ? dominant ? role ? in ? the ? educational ?activity. ?Increasing ?salaries ?won't ?improve ?the ?quality ? of ? a ? awful ? teacher. ? In ? adverse, ? easily-?‐received ? money ? will ? encourage ?their ?laziness. ?As ?a ?result, ?the ?quality ?of ?education ?will ? be ?worse. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Increasing ? teachers' ? salaries ? is ? not ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ? the ?quality ?of ?education. ?We ?can ?find ?better ?way ?to ?achieve ?better ?

result. ? Meliorating ? the ? educational ? equipment ? will ? indeed ? make ? education ? more ? efficient. ? That's ? much ? better ? than ? increasing ? the ? salaries. ? All ? in ? all ? then, ? increasing ? the ? salaries ? is ? not ? the ? best ? way ? to ? improve ?the ?quality ?of ?education. ? ? 老师点评:1, 字数不够。2. 最后一点说的太少,不具体。

hhyymx
不同意。 单纯改善教师待遇可以吸引更好的人才, 扩大教师数量。 但是这并非提高教育质量的最好方法。 1、现代教育的核心因素是人。这就包括三个方面的主体,教师、 学生、管理者。提高教师能力的同时,学生和教育管理者能力的 提高也同样重要。举例 1严格的招生制度带来更好的生源。 举例 2所在城市的很多学校聘用职业经理人管理。这些都可以提升教育 质量。 2、现代教育强调沟通和交流。相对封闭的环境中,我们很难认识 到现有教育存在的不足。因此必须积极进行对外交流,学习先进 的教育方法,才能更有效的提高教育质量。例如,提供资金给教 师轮岗、教师、学生出国访问等。 3、教育质量的提高还依赖于实践活动。实践是检验教育质量的有 效手段。提供资金给学生进行实习活动、创业活动也是必要的。

综上,提高教育质量需要使用资金的地方很多,是个系统工 程。提高教师工资并不能简单实现目的。

Disagree ? simply ? increase ? teacher's ? salaries ? → ? enroll ? eilte ?→ ? enlarge ? team ? → ? however ?→ ?not ?the ?best ?one. ? ?

1、 ? ?particapant ? → ? teachers ? students ? managers ? → ? all ? inprove ? -?‐-?‐ ? ?E1 ? ?E2 ? 2、 ? ?communication ? → ? close ? circle ? → ? couldnot ? correct ? the ? error ?→ ? must ? open ? learn ? advanced ? education ? methods ? → ? supply ? money ? teachers ?and ?students ?go ?aboard ? 3 、 practice ? → ? examin ? quality ? ?→ ? practical ? training-?‐ ?

venture—necessary ?

老师点评:思路可以。开始写吧。注意一些英文表达。

? ? ? ? With ? the ? development ? of ? contemporary ? education, ? high ? quality ? becomes ? the ? goal. ? The ? method ? to ? increase ? teacher’s ? salaries ?is ?being ?considered ?to ?be ?a ?good ?method ?for ?improving ?the ? quality ?of ?education. ?Is ?it ?feasible? ?Yes. ?Because ?it ?will ?attract ?elite ? to ? educational ? career ? and ? will ? enlarge ? teacher ? team ? in ? fact. ? Will ? salary ?increasing ?be ?the ?best ?one? ?I ?believe ?not. ? ? ? ? ? First ? of ? all, ? there ? are ? three ? participants ? in ? educational ? movements: ?teachers, ?students ?and ?education ?managers. ?We ?must ? ensure ?that ?as ?we ?raise ?the ?ability ?of ?teachers, ?we ?should ?increase ? the ? quality ? of ? students ? and ? managers ? as ? the ? same ? time. ? It ? is ? simultaneous. ? For ? instance, ?investment ?to ?the ?enroll ?system ?of ?will ?

lead ?to ?better ?students. ?As ?well ?as, ?in ?my ?city ?there ?have ?more ?and ? more ?schools ?tend ?to ?employ ?professional ?managers ?of ?education ? to ? charge ? the ? schools. ? These ? approaches ? will ? be ? more ? important ? than ?increasing ?teacher’s ?salaries ?simply. ? ? ? ? ? ? On ? the ? other ? hand, ? the ? core ? of ? modern ? education ? is ? communications. ?In ?a ?little ?closed ?circle, ?we ?will ?hardly ?recognize ? the ? disadvantages ? what ? we ? have ? in ? daily ? education. ? Only ? when ? we ? had ? learned ? from ? advanced ? technology ? of ? education, ? we ? could ? enhance ? our ? quality ? of ? education ? more ? efficiently. ? For ? instance, ? providing ? funds ? to ? jobs ? exchanges ? and ? going ? aboard ? of ? teachers ? and ?students ?maybe ?the ?better ?choice. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? In ? addition, ? improving ? quality ? of ? education ? depends ? on ? practice ? movement. ? Since ? practice ? is ? the ? effective ? method ? for ? examining ?quality ?of ?education, ?providing ?moneys ?is ?necessary ?to ? students’ ?ventures ?and ?internships. ? ? To ?sum ?up, ?improving ?quality ?of ?education ?is ?truly ?a ?complex ? system ?project. ?the ?claim ?that ?the ?best ?way ?to ?improve ?the ?quality ? of ?education ?is ?to ?increase ?teachers' ?salaries ?is ?unfounded. ?

老师点评:第三段太少,结构不协调。然后语法方面有一些 问题,比如倒装句的使用。

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